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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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i need help I was married for 18 years my ex divorced me 1

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i need help I was married for 18 years my ex divorced me 1 year and 5 months ago he cheated and know his new gf posted in facebook that she is preganat that they are he didn't post anything but she did on his facebook I need to move on I am in so painful because before we were going to get divorced we were going trying to conceive please help me to move on fast thank you
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help with your situation.

I know that you are devastated because this woman has taken your place as his love interest and now is (presumably) carrying his baby, something that you wanted.

If you had conceived you might be pregnant and abandoned, or married to a man who was cheating on you while you were carrying his child.

He showed his true colors and you were out of the situation before an already terrible situation could have been further complicated by a child from a broken home and legal battles over custody, visitation and child support.

You are grieving the loss and will have to go through the grieving process from anger and denial, through depression, through eventual acceptance of the reality of the new situation.

Going onto Facebook is like rubbing salt in the wound. You have no positive reason to be there or care about what they do. Instead you have to get him out of your mind. Get rid of mementos, pictures, and all those things that remind you of the man who turned out to be someone else.

You must turn to other interests, start to date or look for possible contacts online (Match.com, e Harmony.com, POF, Mingle, Our Times, etc.), take a class, join a meet-up, go to museums or take classes, etc.

Join a social minded church, join the YMCA, and get plenty of exercise, summer and winter, and do your best to move on. The grief will fade and you will be better prepared.

Finally, let me recommend a book that many of my clients like and find helpful:

It comes in paperback, E book or audio CD. and is available at amazon.com.

Click the link below for details:

Product Details

Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You by Susan J. Elliott JD MEd

If you find yourself thinking about this too much, you can also try thought stopping techniques found in this excellent guidebook that is widely acclaimed by professionals and written by mental health professionals, concise and very easy to read and effective.

 

Product Details

Thoughts and Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods and Your Life by Matthew McKay PhD, XXXXX XXXXX PhD and Patrick Fanning

 

I wish you the courage to persevere and to ignore your former partner and his new friend(s).

 

I shall keep you in my prayers.


Warm regards,

 

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you so much for your advise god bless you and once more thank you from the bottom of my heart thank you

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
May God bless you with peace, fulfillment, and a wonderful family with children. Amen.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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