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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I star a seen someone but dont doing well with my feeling

Resolved Question:

I star a seen someone but dont doing well with my feeling
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help you, and will work with you until I can give you a satisfactory answer.

Can you describe what happens with your feelings after you started seeing this person?

Answer me and I shall reply as soon as possible.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

Customer: replied 11 months ago.

Well this person is wonderfull we have a lot on common and other it balance. Specially I am very controlled about everything on my life. Single mother of 2 kids. Alone for 5 years. I haven been in a relation because the fatherof my kids were unhappy relations. This person understand my situation and don't pressure me.


Is a lot good things but I just don't know how to manage my feelings. I dont know how to react. He said I don't have faith on him.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.
Dear Ximena,

You have a new man in your life who really cares about you. You share a lot with him, but you have been very hurt in the past and you have closed yourself down.

You can learn to open yourself. Your new wonderful friend does understand you and is willing to wait and bring you out with his love.

Trust him and let him love you. You will open your heart slowly.

I have a wonderful book that I would urge you to get and read. This will help you accomplish this. This is the book, available online at amazon.com. Just click the link:


Product Details

Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think by XXXXX XXXXXberger and Christine Padesky

 

Pray to God to open your heart, if you are a believer.

 

I shall pray for you.

 

Warm regards,

 

Elliott

Customer: replied 11 months ago.

I will get the book. But any suggestion in the mind time. I dont want to lose him but my ways put him away. Sometimes I dont know how to be around him. He understood butI have be better.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.
Dear Ximena,

While you are waiting for the book there are a few things that you can do. He is a very patient man and will appreciate that you are trying to be able to open up and express yourself more. You were probably emotionally closed down when you were a child and you need to overcome this. The book will help.

Here are some ideas for you in the meanwhile:

Be very patient with him, give him time and space to show his feelings for you, and he will give you the time and space that you need. Don't make demands or put limitations on him and get to know all about him.

Accept him for who he is and put your attention on those qualities that attract him to you. Don't try to change him but love his just how he is.

Listen to him with great attention when he speaks, and if he needs to talk about his problems, let him talk freely without judging him. He may have other stress and he needs you to turn to make him feel better. In this way you show him that you love him. When he supports you, understand that this is because he loves you.

It is NOT words but deeds that say you care.

If you need to tell him something he may not want to hear, tell him gently and let your love for him help you choose the right words. Never be harsh and never look down on him.

You don't have to say I love you if that is hard for you to do. Instead show it with with your actions, which should be gentle, caring, and consistent.

When you are with him, make sure to look into his eyes and let him look into yours. The eyes are windows into the soul and you can show him the love inside of you by allowing him to see it in your eyes.

I have one more book by one of my favorite authors in showing love. This book is easy to read and will help you a great deal:

Product Details

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary D Chapman

 

I wish you great blessings and warm regards.

 

Elliott

Customer: replied 11 months ago.

Hello, sorry I been busy. Im stress because a family health situation. He said he take care a issue and need to talk to me. Face to face. I went nuts think the worse without let him talk. Now he don't want to talk to me. I don't want to lose him. What I can do? I very sad for my mistake and that made me lose him. Please help me

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.
Dear Ximena,

It is NOT too late..

Get in touch with him and tell him that you are sorry. Tell him you were very stressed because of the family health situation.

Ask him to forgive you and tell him that you do not want to lose him as a friend.

If you keep trying, he will talk to you again.

Do not give up. Just be kind and open and friendly and if he acts mean to you tell him that he is hurting you and that he shouldn't hurt someoe who really cares about him.

I hope I have helped you. Please let me know.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 11 months ago.

Hello Elliott


I been try for two days reach him. Send text call him. I said what u tell me. And still dont answer me. Nothing. im very sad. My family situation is better now and I cant share that happiness with him. I lose him.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.
Dear Ximena,

Thanks for getting back to me.

Don't give up. You have some information to share with him, happy news about your family situation. Tell him. Let him know that you and he can make things better and that it is hurtful to you when he ignores you.

Tell him that if he needed you, you would be there for him. Further tell him that you need HIM, and you would be so happy if he got in touch with you.

I shall keep you in my prayers.

Please don't forget to give me positive feedback for helping you so that JustAnswer can give me credit. I love to help good people and this is why I do this to make a living.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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