sorry after my fight with my husband tonite I can honesty say that he and I will probably never see our way back to each other
I have been being positive but I will tell you he makes it very very hard. HE LOVES HIM MONEY MORE THAN ME HE ALWAYS HAS
Well thank you for turning your cheek but how would I be please when you really didnt know. First you said yes then you said that if not in this one the next one.
I have been positive ............ but how long do you stay that way and get verbal abuse at the same time AND YES MONEY IS HE FIRST LOVE
I have been alone for so long asking begging and crying for help from him from my family with my mom.and really have gotten none but when I found out when his mom found out she was dying BUT YET IT STILL WAS NOT ENOUGH. I did file for a divorce but not because I wanted it but because for at least three to four years he has been saying our marriage is a joke and that we should get a divorce. I have been taking care of my mom. I would come home cook him supper and get his lunch for the next day. Then go to mom's and do the same thing. But when done be fixing her house. I would spend the night. Well that was not good so I ended up staying at moms then driving home and getting here around 1 am and get up and do it all again. It was like he was jealous of my mom, HE kept telling me to shame my family into helping. I could not get him to help me so how was i going to make them hep me. There is so much more
My head says divorce my heart says stay with him. How can that be???? How can I still deeply love him. My heart is so broken
Your head says divorce because rationally nothing else makes sense.
However your heart feels as if it will break and you want to know how this can be?
There is a phenomenon in psychology called traumatic bonding which concerns strong emotional ties between two people in a situation where one of the persons intermittently threatens, beats, abuses, hurts, harasses, or intimidates the other. This is a form of what is called the Stockholm syndrome where a hostage develops strong ties for the person who has taken her or him prisoner.
In traumatic bonding, this bonding takes place as your response to being a victim. You identify with your aggressor in a sense that when you believe in the same values as the aggressor (that he can mistreat you but you still love him), then he is no longer a threat to you.
Thank you I guess. Really never thought of myself as a victim. But in a way I guess your right. Need to think long and hard about what your saying
I am having a heck of a time to understand how I can love this man as much as do and yet file for a divorce. I know he has caused me grate pain but I by filing for divorce have caused him pain too. Yes my grandmother died and he was not there for me not did he even go to her funeral and she loved him so. Yes, one month later lost my daughter in a stillbirth. He did not want her as he told me this himself. He really was not there for me in this either. And the spring his ex father in law died and he went to that even got me to go with him but yet he could not go to my grandmothers. Then about a year later or so my step father died and my mother needed me so I traveled from my home in Dixfield to hers in Farmington, which is about 45 mins away every day. Then a year later she moved into my brothers. When my brother moved to Florida she moved back home and for the last 2/3 yrs I been taking care of her. I first pretty much stayed here with her.I would go home after work cook my husband supper get his lunch ready and then come to moms get her supper and eat a little with her. I would then also have to work on her house. AS MY STEP DAD NEVER DID ANYTHING OR FINISHED ANYTHING HE STARTED. So I have been learning how to do well be a gy lets say to work on her house and I HATE IT. Then my husband got upset that I was not coming home much so I would still go home cook for him and cook for mom but then travel back to Dixfield and would arrive home around 1 am get up and start over every day. There where times in between that he would end up having a tv dinner. Then I ended up not coming to my moms as much but calling every day two time to make sure she took her pills. And he would get his suppers and eat wtih me the whole time me feeling extremely guilty that I was not with mom. and vesa versa. So I would end up going to her house on Saturdays and try to do all her business and shopping stuff then on Sunday I would clean and do for my house but Greg did not like that because he wanted me to do stuff with him on Sat not mom. Because he wanted to ski on Sundays.
They are both kinda crotchedy but my mother has reason to she is loosing her eye sight and has had an extremely hard life. Greg on the other hand has not he came from money and has no reason to be so crabby . During this time he had said many many many times that OUR MARRIAGE IS A JOKE AND WE SHOULD GET A DIVORCE SO AFTER HEARING IT FOR AT LEAST TWO TO THREE YEARS OF HIM DOING THIS I DID IT. AND NOW I AM HEART BROKEN