Hello, I'm a moderator for this topic. I've been working hard to find a professional to assist you right away, but sometimes finding the right professional can take a little longer than expected. I wonder whether you're ok with continuing to wait for an answer. Please let me know and I will assist further. Thank you!
Sure, I can wait. Odd that this question is so difficult. Or maybe not, it seems complicated to me! :)
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.Dear concerned parent,I believe I can help you with this situation.I have run a drug counseling program at the local jail for several years, as a volunteer.I rarely see a person with a problem from marijuana use, and that is usually associated with other mental disorders.It is not physically addictive, although some people use it too often, which is a diversion from doing other more constructive activities, although some creative people use it and work and achieve at a very high level.Some of the best students smoke pot and get the hightest grades, and some perform certain skills at a higher level under the influence then not.I do not recommend it, but it is much better to use cannabis then to use alcohol or any other drugs, all of which are damaging and potentially dangerous.I do not use it but I did many years ago and I have accomplished a great deal in my life at a high level of achievment.Onced again, I do not recommend it or promote it, but I do not think it is a problem. At your son's school almost all go on to college.I also taught at the college level (sociology, anthropology, and mental health) and know that a lot of my students, often the best, XXXXX XXXXX herb.The big drawback is that it is illegal and can get a person into trouble and give them a criminal record.It is being de-criminalized as the governments begin to take a more common sense approach and find ways to tax it.It seems that there is nothing that you can really do as this is acceptable in his peer group and all of your warnings mean nothing when his experiences tell him otherwise. You can tell him that you do not approve and warn him about the legal consequences and then further repercussions about his future if he gets caught.For a different point of view than the one promoted by the liquor industry (which successfull lobbied for marijuana criminalization back in the 1930s), you might look at this book.
One again, I think that NOT smoking pot is BETTER than smoking pot, but the biggest drawback is the legal issue, and is quite important.
I wish you great sucess in continuing to raise a good young man. He will turn out fine.
Tell him what you think but don't let this drive a wedge between you.
If it was alcohol or any other drug, I would give you a very different answer, but U urge you to be reasonable and let him grow up.
I shall keep your family in my prayers.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Thank you Elliott for that good information. I feel better for sure.
In our state, there is only a small fine for possessing less than 1 oz, it is no longer criminal. Of course if he sells it or has more, that would be a huge problem.
My son is not a good student. He lacks motivation to the point that he would almost rather fail than put effort into an assignment. He gets D's and has been on the border of failing courses several times. He is late to school virtually every day. We have been trying to figure out his problem; he only says that school is boring and he is lazy. I thought my discovery of his drug use could help explain the issue. Doesn't it hurt motivation? Takes the stress off the situation so you can deal with the stress of your life caused by parents harping on you and school work that you don't want to do. He scored very well on SAT and standardized tests (not genius, but high or above average). I also wonder how he funds it, he doesn't have a job and we don't just give him money.
How much can I attribute these issues to drug use? I don't believe his drug use is daily, perhaps once a week; but I don't know yet. I haven't spoken to him yet, I'm trying to figure out what to say!!!
Elliott, thank you for your excellent posts. If you don't mind, I will direct more questions to you as a proceed. Just to fill you in as I close out this question. He is diagnosed with ADD (although it seems no "H" for hyperactivity is involved). He has sort-of an addiction to video games and such as he finds them soothing. He does have a girl friend who is got deeply involved with very quickly and they spend hours together every day all summer (they are sexually active). After much pushing, the was tested at the High School in his Jr Year and put on an Ed plan for executive functioning (organization). We have him seeing a counselor who specializes in ADD and addictive behavior. He finally has a glimmer of interest for a particular college, but didn't put in enough effort to get the grades to get into that college. So, that's where we are and working to improve.
Thank you again for the great info, as I said, if you don't mind I will direct more questions to you!