I am so new to JustAnswer and I would like to know from you how do we know what experts are online? Who are they? Can we send messages to a specifc expert? Is there a list of them?
so if my boyfriend of 5 years decides to pat me on the back it doesnt mean that he is disconnecting? I some times wonder what is going on when he pats me on the back when he hugs me. I feel rejected and it bothers me. It makes me think he is creating distance.
This is either me feeding into my fears of abandonment, rejection etc. or can all these fears be true? (that is what goes on in my head)
Hello again, no I do not believe that patting you on the back when he hugs you means he is disconnecting. If he were disconnecting, he would not hug you at all. But since it is triggering your insecurity and feelings of abandonment and rejection, I suggest that you talk with him about how you feel when he pats you on the back during hugs and ask him directly if he is trying to create distance. Right now your mind is full of fear that most likely has no basis in reality; talking with him will put your mind at ease. Let me know if you need anything further, take care, Eleanor