How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question

Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
40019946
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hello I am asking this on behalf of my son and family .to cut

Customer Question

Hello I am asking this on behalf of my son and family .to cut it down basically Chris my son married a Chinese girl who is lovely , but from meeting and getting married , her mother had a spinal cord infection which has left her with a spinal cord injury and other healthproblems and her and her husband My daughter in law mum and dad moved in with my son and Blaze .they have been with Chris and blaze for 18 months and it is not ideal as they live in the lounge and the support system has said it is not ideal . and Chris and blaze live in a very small dinning room.there is also nothing in the house that is Chris or says that XXXXX XXXXXves there the parents were there temporarily with the view to getting there own adapted house .Chris says they are very very untidy ,i do agree because i have seen the mess . any way Chris has had a chat with blaze about what is happening IE are the parent moving out etc as Chris would like to spend time with Blaze and start there married life as couple .but Blaze has said that she will be looking after them and they come first and if Chris doesn't like it he can separate/ divorce and she will not discuss the issue .I would not interfere with them at all but have run out of ideas .jean JOHNSON
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear Ms. Johnson,

Chris is facing the rules of a different culture where the parents are honored above all, and a woman who is not able to keep her commitment to her husband.

Blaze is not honoring your son and is ready to discard him at the drop of a hat.

She says that its my way or the highway. This marriage is failing and Blaze is the cause.

It is not directly your problem, but it is surely tearing you apart.

If I was talking to Chris, I would advise him to get a divorce based on incompatability.

This was not the understanding he had when he married her and she will not live up to her vows or commitment, so I advise he get the divorce as the best way forward in his life, and you may quote me on that.

I shall keep your family in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hello thank you for your advice , you don't think that Blaze is going to change her mind ? well i don't think so and i think that she has stated her intentions but it is very painful to hear as i think as couple you should be able to discuss problems and it would be easy to resolve .Jean

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Jean,

This is such a heart-wrenching situation for your son and for you.

Blaze's conditioning is deeply rooted, and it cannot be dislodged by reasoning, and she is not moved by love for your son. She does not have that love, for if she did their would be a chance, but she is adamant.

Her mind is made up and her emotional commitment to her parent seems unshakeable.

Perhaps if she came from a different culture she would be able to have this discussion with Chris, but that will never be an option for her, I believe.

Her mind is made up and it would be best for Chris to move forward with his life. He has two choices: continue to live in unacceptable circumstances or leave the relationship. He has no other apparent options and there is no middle ground.

It is up to him to make the decision. I believe that sooner or later he will leave. Although sooner is a better option, he will do nothing until he is ready and sees the futility in continuing.

May God bless him and your family.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions