Thank you for your answer. A lot of your answer does make sense but I am unsure of how to just be his friend.
He wants to keep in contact with me and we have agreed to spend less time with each other. Once we are both back at university, we will not be able to see each other much anyway. I have already identified myself as a pressure and know I must keep my distance. However, I feel I cannot support him as a friend as he never opens up to his friends. He has never really opened up to anyone except me (and that is rarely).
By saying we are just friends, I am sure he will not turn to me for support and I am worried he will feel he will have no one to turn to. He will receive therapy at university but I worry without anyone checking up on him, he might stop going due to his anxiety like last year.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety last year so in some respects I do understand what he is going through. However, during the toughest times, I never pushed him away, even when I felt I did not have feelings for her. That's what hurts me the most.
He says he still wants to talk. We have agreed to keep communicating while we are both away at our universities but how do I act? Do I ask up after him? Or pretend their is no problem and wait for him to talk about it if he wants to? He knows I still love him and I think now he is feeling guilty that he cannot reciprocate. How can I talk to him without reminding him of that guilt?
I feel he has kept quiet for such a long time, it might be too late to save our relationship. I know you cannot really say for sure, but how long do you think it will take for therapy to take effect? How long will I have to stay strong for him and keep my distance?
I hope my answers were helpful to you. If you have any more questions, please let me know.
May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!
You have been very helpful Kate, thank you. I have now given you a rating.
Am I just struggling with the concept of being friends and checking up on him from time to time. We have spoken everyday since we started dating 5 years ago and I'm finding it difficult to stop that. What would you recommend as an appropriate amount to talk to him?
We have maintained a long distance relationship while we are both at university but that based on the fact we communicated so much. I worry once he is away and we aren't talking as much as we use to, our relationship will degrade further. I guess I cannot make him talk to me more than he wants to.
He wants to see me before he goes away again. Not to talk but just to spend some time together as a couple. I worry he may be trying to force himself to feel something he is just not ready for yet. Do I just follow his lead when it comes to interacting from now on?
I'm sorry if I'm not making a lot of sense at the moment. I have so many emotions up in the air at the moment, I'm struggling to make sense of it all.
Thank you for your help.
Thank you Kate. This is all making sense. It is really tough at the moment, but I am going to be strong for the both of us.
I really appreciate your advice.