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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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i have been on 7 dates with this wonderful little lady in the

Customer Question

i have been on 7 dates with this wonderful little lady in the past, then she went out of state because of the military and i didnt hear from her for 3 weeks. we didnt really get past a hug hello and goodbye, but always had a good time. after we started talking again about two months later (where im currently at) i asked her out again and she said yes enthusiastically. our date tonight was a lot of fun, got stuck at the restaurant due to the staff ignoring us, and had a wonderful conversation for the little over two hours we were there, then we walked around the town, got some ice cream since it was the only store open this late. we walked back to my truck and i drove her the 50 minutes to her home. now when we were waiting for our table there were a ton of other people there so i sat really close to her for the first time to where our arms were touching and she didnt mind. then at the table while waiting for the bill for 45 mins i tried to invite her to my side of the table to see the pictures of my hike that i went on, but either she didnt hear me or denied me. then after dinner we walked off our meal then got ice cream, and sat very close to eachother due to the design of the bench. our legs and arms were touching. after driving her home we sat outside her house talking for about 5 minutes and then we shared a longer than usual hug and went our seperate ways. now im not the kinda guy who is on the hunt to get into a ladies pants. im dying to have a companion that wants to listen to my day, and spend time with me, and end my lonliness. but i feel like that my fear of making a move is hurting my chances with her. ive been noticing it seems like she is the kinda lady who likes the guy to make 100% of the moves. which for being the first girl ive actually dated its not good for me. am i screwing this up? she mentioned tonight that her friends called her out for being on a date as a joke and they new she was with me somehow, so that leads me to belive she talks about me a little with them. what was weird was they new my truck without really ever seeing it, and i drive a 45 year old truck. so they have somehow seen my truck too. am i messing up, doing ok, or over reacting? thank you and im soory for the long windedness of this. im an engineer not a writer.
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help with your situation.

I just read your very endearing question and concluded that you are just the kind of a guy that a decent girl like her is looking for.

She was impressed enought with you to brag to her friends about you.

She doesn't want to lose face or make you think she is too forward, so it is up to YOU to make the first moves.

Trust me, if she was not comfortable with your arm touching hers sjhe would have adjusted her position. Electricity moves in two directions.

You were not long-winded but just covering all the relevant details (like an engineer).

Those longer than usual hugs are noticed by both parties. If you were aware, then so was she, and neither resisted.

You revealed something very important, in a very eloquent way. You said that you are dying to have a companion that wants to listen to your day, and spend time with you, and end your loneliness.

Tell her that. Take a chance and make yourself vulnerable. If she likes you, this will melt her heart because she will believe you - and that is because she can probably tell that you are not a player.

Tell her you feel a close connection with her and she has a magical effect on you.

This is true. You clearly have shown and stated it.

You have nothing to lose. Find the right moment and setting, perhaps where another hug or even a kiss can ensue.

If you let this stagnate it will die on the vine. Keep it moving gracefully and with honesty and warm regard.

It sounds to me that this story is just unfolding.

I wish you great success and shall keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC MCC, CCMHC

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.
Thank you so much, Sean. May God grant you your fondest wishes. Amen.
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Thank you very much sir for your speedy response. Contactig a professional for advice my be the best move ive made to date. I feel a major boost in my confidence level with this. Im both extremely excited and a tad nervous to speak with her again. I tend to loose my train of thought when i look at her and fumble my words when i speak to her. I just want to know of a smooth way to transition into this discusion with her. I dont want to just blind side her with all of this. Thank you for you help again elliot. If this was in person id be honored to shake your hand and would thank you whole heartedly.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.
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