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Hi Eleanor, I need help figuring out my dance with my boyfriend are you familiar with that? If you are can you work with me on helping me figure out our dance and what new steps to make to help our dance flow better?
Decode Relationship DanceMy boyfriend and I have a pattern or Dance if you will that has some not so good steps. I would like to speak to someone that can help me figure out some new steps to make our dance more harmonious.Here is an example of 2 weekends ago:I have a hard time sharing my feelings. I feel as if he doesnt listen. I get nervous when I cant share. I get clingy when I see him distancing. He distances I get clingier and dont share with him my fears concerns etc. THen when I go to share Its such a stressful situation that he gets agrivated. He stonewalls. Then it builds until he wants to break up says he isnt attracted to me, its not ment to be... I get upset. I then share what I really mean. THen I go near him and touch him I become "soft". Then He responds in a softer way.Before you know it we are upstairs making love. 2 hours later....Then he shares what he likes. I feel calm am able to share my feelings and then we decide we need to be more open and feel comfortable. Is there a way to make this less intense? Like no break up in between. This who thing is an example of 1 day. This may happen months apart. I am in therapy he is also doing self improvement. This was a break thought moment as we were able to share our needs finally. One of our issues is lack of intimacy. He wants me to Receive. Enjoy myself not be mechanical. He wants me to be more in my body. Can you help me disifer this?I have a huge fear or rejection how can I stop this cycle that I am doing to make my life and my relationship more harmonious.