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Kate McCoy
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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My sister has refused to speak to me for the past 2 years when

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My sister has refused to speak to me for the past 2 years when she is the one that screwed me. I sent her cards and presents all last year and just found out that she is still spreading visious rumors about me behind my back. She was jealous of me when we were growing up so I think this is an extension of her true feelings. Should I just give up on her or continue to sends her cards and gifts
Submitted: 7 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 7 months ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It is better to continue to send her cards and gifts. What you are doing is showing her that you still care, even if she is unable to overcome her own issues and reciprocate.

Usually people who hold a grudge do so because they are insecure and unable to cope with the anger and hurt they feel regarding the relationship and whatever went wrong with it. So instead of trying to make amends, they become angry (as a defense) and continue to try to hurt you back in order to feel better about themselves. By refusing to treat your sister the same way she treats you, you are sending the message that what she is doing is not ok and that you will not treat her the way she treats you. By doing that you can prove that she is wrong and doesn't have a reason to continue being angry.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5241
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
Kate McCoy and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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