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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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This is another "Relationship" and "Etiquette" question that

Customer Question

This is another "Relationship" and "Etiquette" question that I have. I'm currently in Quebec City attending school. I'm renting a room for the semester. I have two roomates. I have access to a communal bathroom/laundry area and a kitchen. The refridgerator in the kitchen wasn't working, and it was replaced today. I took the food out of the fridge and put it into reusable bags. The fridge got replaced, and the food, including dairy products, was left on the counter for about two to three hours. I was told to put the food in bags by the landlady. I'm mad at her now. I feel like I can't move because I signed a contract. I'm also upset because she seems to show favoritism to the two other girls who have lived here longer and who are more talkative and more fashionable than me. I don't want to be miserable the entire semester of my study abroad here. What should I do?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Chere amie,

You have been treated badly. Perhaps this concierge left your bags out by accident or by passive aggression. This you do not know.

If it was the latter, then you certainly don't want to let her know that it concerned you.

It would be nice if the people with whom you shared the space had more decency and better manners, but they do not.

You have every reason to be upset by being treated unfairly. The best way to avoid future confrontations is to say nothing, and throw out any spoiled food which they will hopefully see. Say nothing, however, and this will be more worrisome to them then if you say something.

Keep your distance from them in a polite but aloof manner.

Find friends outside of this house. This is where you sleep and eat and owe then nothing but the rent.

Ignore them except for polite exchanges and do not seek out their company, but respond in a friendly manner if they seek yours.

This attitude will give you more power. Don't let these petty people dampen your spirit.

Keep you head high and follow your own interests and make your own friends who share those interests.

If there are three, one will be the least favorite. If that is you, then don't worry and keep this in perspective.

Vous n'etes pas en Qubec pour cette petite chambre. Suivez votres interets.

I wish you great blessings and a lovely semester - malgre ces petites mouches.


Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Do I let my floormates know what happened? I thought that I should tell them and give them ten to twenty dollars to replace anything that smelled or tasted badly.


 


What can I do to seem aloof so that I can keep my distance?


 


How can I not worry about being the least favorite?


 


I have a three day weekend every weekend, and I only have one class on Tuesday and Thursday. What do I do on those days?

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear XXXXX,

You have a wonderful idea about making up for the spoiled food (that wasn't your fault and could have been an accident.

Instead of giving money, go and spend a few dollars and replace the spoiled foot and just mention that the old food was left out by whoever installed the new fridge. Don't blame anyone and don't say anymore. The less said the better.

You will immediately rise in esteem for being kind and generous and not making a fuss about this. If the landlady did this she will be most grateful and impressed that you did not even mention her name but rather handled the incident as nothing but a small oversight.

Because you are the newest you will automatically be at the bottom. Anyone would. That is part of being the new person, and that is a universal truth. Don't take it so personally, and perhaps after you fill the fridge back up with good food you will be everybody's favorite. Remember the best and most noble deeds are anonymous.

Now, how to fill your time between classes?

You can get this book on line or probably at a local librairie.

Product Details

VILLE DE QUÉBEC by COLLECTIF


You are also interested in the opera.

Try this site:

http://www.tripomatic.com/Canada/Quebec/Quebec-City-city/Quebec-Opera/

There is much to do in this lovely city and the guide will help you.

Amusez-vous bien.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Why do you suggest that I replace the spoiled food instead of giving money?


 


Why is it better to say as little as possible?

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Replace the food instead of providing money is a much more refined thing to do and shows you are more caring then just putting down money. It was't your fault so you shouldn't have to give money, but giving food is a generous gesture.

Say as little as possible because it makes you look better by NOT saying anything then sounding like you are bragging.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
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