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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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So I have a boyfriend and we have been dating for a year and

Customer Question

So I have a boyfriend and we have been dating for a year and a month and in the beginning I found porn magazines and I would find he went on porn sites all the time and he seems to lie alot and not know how to tell the truth. So the other day he told me to check his email for something and as I was going through it I found a email from a dating site


He has got more than one like that is it spam or has he gone on to them
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 10 months ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

You have discovered that your boyfriend is not whom you thought he was.

It would be like having a a beautiful box of chocolates that you had been holding for awhile and and then you finally opened the box and the chocolates were stale and it looked as if there were bugs that had gotten into them.

Do you still keep the chocolates or do you feel disappointment and then throw them out?

This man is using porn, which means he is fantacizing about other women and masturbating and giving you less of his attention, perhaps because you are not a 19 year old porno starlet.

He is also on a dating site and that means he is looking for other women as the porn is not satisfying him - and neither are you.

It could be spam but if it identifiies him by name or asks him to sign in or gives him matches, then he is on at least one.

If you are on one the others send you matches.

Porn is bad enough, but openly looking for dates (if he is doing that) is a deal-breaker.

Have a closer look at the site or go on yourself (you might not have to join and pay, just register) and see if he is listed. If he is, you might be able to send him a "wink". That will certainly wake him up.

I wish you great success in trying to save this relationship, or if not saveable, then leaving it and starting the next chapter in your life.

I wish you great success.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
I can't get the dating sit to work!



Dear XXXXX@XXXXXX.XXX,

Discreet Adult Dating

Is your current sex life less than fulfilling? Tired of the bar scene and ready to get some action? Let me introduce you to guaranteed sex!

An online adult dating website that offers just that-sex (was a link here)

Members enjoy the benefits of chatting and communicating with other like-minded members in the interest of meeting in person to "hook-up".

This isn't a joke. It's a real place to find horny like-minded girls in your area who want nothing more than to screw your brains out.

Get laid tonight!


That's the email so you think it is spam or not
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 10 months ago.
Dear CIerra,

That one is spam but it was probably sent to him because he is on porn sites or on other hookup sites.

When he puts his energy into other women, even digital images of them, he is taking away from you. Men have only so much to give, sexually, and if he spills his seed somewhere else, then he has less interest in you then in a picture or video of some sex worker.

Talk to him about the porn, however. It is really not healthy.

Warm regards,

Elliott

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