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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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hello Elliott .its me again. sorry. I need to know :Why is

Resolved Question:

hello Elliott .it's me again. sorry. I need to know :Why is it that I get depressed , sad, out of sorts when I don't have sex for a long
period of time? and I very much need to know what to do about it as I am trying not to have relationships (at 61 yrs widow) because as soon as you have sex with a man they are jealous. thank you kindly. liz
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Josie-Mod replied 1 year ago.
Hi, I'm Josie and I am a moderator for this topic. I sent Elliot, your requested professional, a message to follow up with you here, when he is back online.

If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear Liz,

I believe that I can help.

This is a bit complicated because there are several factors working here. I shall try to sort this out.

First of all, you are lonely and frustrated by the fact that your experiences with men have led to jealousy on the part of the man. You did not say what sparked the jealousy.

Many people feel that having sex with another person is a commitment of some sort rather than just a hook-up, especially in people of our generation. You may not and do not want to have an exclusive relationship with them. I don't know and won't until you reply. That could make them feel jealous.

Or perhaps they are posessive people and want to control you and become jealous of any other male contacts you have. That means they are insecure. If you care to keep them around you can try to address their insecurity.

Jealousy quickly destroys relationships, and you pick up on it easily and evidently react strongly to it. In the end it is depressing.

Masturbation can give you a physical release and lower your stress level. It is therapeutic in that way. But when it is over there is the feeling of loneliness, not human warmth, not just physical touching and tender words, but a spiritual energy that flows between people who care for each other.

If it was just the physical the people would just have sex friends or use prostitutes. In the end, it doesn't satisfy And if the partner changes into a posessor, then you become an object of his release and not a subject of his shared and equal love.

Don't give up. Age 61 is not old and you can still meet a man who will treat you equally and without jealousy. There are good men out there who would love to have a quality but not stifling relationship with you.

Yes, it is hard to find someone and the dating services are imperfect. Keep your mind and heart open and the right man may appear and show you that all men are not the same.

If you are just looking for a warm body, there are plenty of them out there, but I assume that you are looking for a quality relationship, the best kind to have.

I wish you success and shall keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 4 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Elliott. you are right. I don't want to have an exclusive relationship with ray. the sex helps my mood greatly, but he is not on my "level" in any way. I can't talk to him about current events or books or music or movies or not much of anything.
what makes him jealous? you ask. well, I haven't had sex with anyone else, but men , once in a blue moon, want to visit : go to dinner or a summer festival . this is why he gets jealous and he calls me 12 times a day. one time, I literally counted his calls.


would you tell me if there are any other things I can do to make my temperamental mood "rosy" besides masturbating? thank you. liz

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Liz,

Thank you so much for getting back to me.

I would be delighted to help you with your situation.

You seem to be suffering from some depression and the orgasms and human contact do help relieve your anxiety and depression.

Using self-help therapy from an excellent workbook seems to help a lot of individuals.

I highly recommend this one:

Product Details

The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression: A Step-by-Step Program by Bill Knaus MS CAS EDD and Albert Ellis PhD

 

and if you also think you are suffering from anxiety then I recommend this one:

 

 

Product Details

The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anxiety: A Step-by-Step Program by William J. Knaus and Jon Carlson

 

If there is anything else that I can do for you, please do not hesitate to call on me.

 

Warm regards

 

Elliott

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 4 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


thank you so much Elliott. I am on my way to the bookstore and to get some job apps as ,for the first time in my life, I am unemployed.


God bless you Elliott. liz

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
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