Hi, I looked through those websites, and I feel some of it quite describes her. I would still like to talk a little bit with you in order for me to get a better understanding of the situation.
Those two have been in a relationship for about seven years. For all that time, she has never really said she loved him, although she enjoys his company. She hasn't treated him well - amongst other things, she has cheated on him. The main thing that has blocked her in the beginning was to please her family (which is very important in the Chinese society). He has always been very patient with her. He seems hell-bent on never leaving her, no matter how much she hurts him. He seems to make his whole life about her, protecting her, and he has never really made any other girl friends saying he isn't interested.
Personally, I feel very bad about my relationship with her, but I also have this idea that if their relationship is so broken already, I'm actually making both of them a favour by forcing them to let go of each other. Perhaps this is my way of repressing my own guilt?
In addition, it seems their relationship has gotten a bit better lately, and I really don't know for sure what she wants anymore. Nor am I sure what I want... The whole situation is very confusing and it's taking its toll on me...
So there are actually two problems here I need help with:
First, I wonder if there's a way to help her deal with her guilt. Do you think she should just leave him and face the guilt? Or if the guilt is really unbearable to her, is it maybe better for her to just stay in that relationship, which might not really be so bad after all?
Second, I need some help sorting out my own emotions... if I knew that she would be much happier with me than with him, I would really fight for her. But if I don't know for sure what she wants, I feel staying with her is nothing but selfish of me. And if she can't deal with leaving him on her own, will her relationship with me be similar to it somehow?
Is it perhaps possible to chat with you in a more direct manner? That is, so you can ask me short questions, etc.?