How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Wendy MFT Your Own Question

Wendy MFT
Wendy MFT, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 16
Experience:  15 years experience counseling couples, families, and individuals.
75332701
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Wendy MFT is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

For, Wendy MFT........ Can we chat.

Resolved Question:

For, Wendy MFT........ Can we chat.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Wendy MFT replied 1 year ago.

Wendy MFT : Hi there. I'd like to help you. What's your question today?
Customer:

Hello, I just have a quick question please. My fiancee and I have been living together for quite some time now. I work odd hours, as dose she, and it can create a bit of an issue of interrupting each others sleep. Me personally, it dose not bother me all that much, but she is like a monster, a green scaly gremlin. That lashes out with nasty and mean words. Often times she will not even remember what happened, so I know that she dose not mean it. It still hurts though and it makes me feel unwelcome in my own home and bed.

Wendy MFT : hmmmm....That sounds like a really tough situation. What have you tried to do so far to "fix" this situation?
Customer:

Not all that sure what can be done to alleviate the situation. I try to be very respectful and quite, but I am a large guy and kinda oafish. So I run into things, knock stuff over, and drop stuff causing all sorts of noise. Its never intentional, it just happens. As far as scheduling that is just life and has to be played out at time dictates with work and the like.

Wendy MFT : So what is it you'd like me to help you with?
Customer:

Well, because I love this woman, and I have allowed her access to my heart, her actions and words have a huge impact on me. So if she is speaking in such a manner and using such a tone, as to hurt my feeling and make me feel unwelcome is a problem in my opinion.

Customer:

Are you not the expert here.

Customer:

What can be done to help the situation.

Wendy MFT : So, it sounds like this is just really difficult for you, because you love her, and feel vulnerable. And even though you know she is not intentionally hurting you, it still bothers you a lot.
Wendy MFT : I assume you have tried talking to her about this. Have you considered separate bedrooms for the nights/days where you both are home? Is that an option for you?
Customer:

We have talked and not really come up with any options. As far as seperate bedrooms that would be cool with me as long as my bed room came with a young busty blonde.

Wendy MFT : I assume you are kidding about that last part.
Wendy MFT : :-) Or is she okay with that?
Customer:

She would be damn well ok with it if she is kicking me out of my room. And we could share.

Wendy MFT : Oh, okay. Well so if you had separate bedrooms, you would actually feel like she's kicking you out, versus a mutual decision? Why do you assume you would be the one kicked out of the bedroom?
Customer:

Because she loves the bed and the sheets, so I would want her to be happy.

Wendy MFT : That is really sweet. She sounds lucky to have you. Just a few other thoughts...
Wendy MFT : Has she tried earplugs or any kind of sleep aide to help her sleep?
Customer:

She has tried some ear plugs but they are unsuccessful, and she does not care to have them all night. I have tried to tell her to try custom ear plugs. Any thoughts on maybe using a gag on her.

Wendy MFT : Again, I am assuming you have a dry sense of humor....as I can tell you love her and would not really ever cause harm. Custom ear plugs sounds like a good idea. I have seen some do-it-yourself kits at an outdoor store; usually they are for hunters, etc. That's a great idea.
Wendy MFT : I think it's really good that you realize that she does not mean to hurt you. When we are asleep, or only half awake, we are not really aware and mindful of what we are doing most of the time. So it's good that you understand this on an intellectual level, even if it still hurts.
Customer:

Toast.

Wendy MFT : ????
Wendy MFT : Also I just wanted to say that this is an issue that many couples deal with, so you're not alone or "abnormal." it is very common and just something that each couple has to learn to deal with and navigate on their own.
Customer:

Yes well maybe I can get her to use custom ear plugs that will not cause discomfort. There is always the good ol' ball gag to.

Wendy MFT : I hope this has been helpful to you. If it has, please remember to rate me. I appreciate your feedback. While bonuses are not expected, they are always appreciated. Thanks so much!
Customer:

Thank you very much for your interaction, it was very helpful and delightful.

Wendy MFT, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 16
Experience: 15 years experience counseling couples, families, and individuals.
Wendy MFT and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions