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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1352
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years was showing me some pictures of

Customer Question

My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years was showing me some pictures of an old vacation on his phone and he opened a folder and I saw a picture of a woman's butt in a thong. I asked him who's it was and he replied "oh nobody" and quickly started to show me other pictures. I figured it was just an old girlfriend or something which is weird but not terrible. It kept bugging me so I did what something I'm not proud of, I began snooping his computer and looking at his pictures to see when it was taken. I found out by the time stamp that it was from a vacation we went on when we were just friends and hadn't begun dating. It still kind of irked me and I continued to snoop :/ I went through some old emails and found a conversation between him and his best friend. It took place a year into our relationship. Hewas discussing his recent vacation with our mutual friend to New York. He was telling him about one of the nights they went out. Our friend was approached by a hooker and brought her back to their hotel room. He goes on to say that our friend couldn't "finish" but he got his money's worth and finished. I really had hope that this was just a joke. I hate the fact that I went through his pictures and emails and now was faced with a dilemma of whether to ask him about it. Last night when he came home from work he could tell something was wrong and I tried to dismiss it, I honestly wasn't sure if I wanted to know. I told him I was sorry for snooping and that was wrong but I asked him about the email. He admitted that he had slept with a hooker. He went to say that it meant absolutely nothing and that he was drunk and can barely remember it. He continue to say that even a year into our relationship he wasn't sure he wanted to settle down with one person. He has been married before for 7 years and he is older than me. He says things are very different now and that he has never felt like this for someone before. We have discussed married and kids and I thought we had the perfect relationship. It's been 2 1/2 years, we live together and before this couldn't be happier. We just got back last week from a Hawaii vacation that was amazing. I love him so much and can't imagine my life without him. I really want to forgive him. But I am having a hard time letting this go. Also I feel like if I let it go too easily I am just a pushover. I am also hurt that our friend would encourage him to do that. I'm not sure how to feel about him now. He is one of our closest friends. What should I do? He says it was a one time huge mistake and that he feels awful and hopes that I can believe that it would never happen again. He continues to say that things have really changed since then and that he would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship. To be honest, at that point in our relationship when friends would ask me if I thought he was the "one" I was unsure. But I am sure now and I truly believe heis sure about us too. Please help!
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 10 months ago.
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