My deceased friend's father is in love with me. I am 23 years old and growing up I had a very good friend. Him and I got along great and flirted on occasion because we were two attractive people. At that time I didn't know his father. It wasn't until my friend was murdered that I met his father (which at the time was to send my codolences to). Well over the years (my friend was killed in 2008) I always checked on him to see how he was doing, we shared memories of his son with each other and pretty much developed a great friendship. About a year ago I stopped by as I normally would from time to time and I noticed he was kind of distant from me. I also noticed that when he would hug me, his hugs would be tighter and longer than usual. One day, (still a year ago) he finally told me what was going on. He said he is in love with me and it was getting hard to hide his feelings which was why he was kind of distancing himself. He said he's been in love with me for the past 2 years (at that point his son had been dead for 3 years) and he felt connected to me on a spiritual level. He said he was afraid of telling me because he didn't want to run me away but that he could not die without telling me. I thought about how this could happen. Then again I was always there for him. Then I took into consideration our age difference. Me and his son were the same age. I'm 23 now so he's in his early 40's. Not to mention he has a daughter my age too whom I get along with. I also think about how my friend would feel about this if he were still alive because we werwe're friends but we did like each other. I told his dad that maybe it's not love it's lust that he feels and he assured me it wasn't. It's an emotional, spiritual thing, although he finds me very beautiful. I have friends who know him and they think he's pretty handsome and on occasion I've honestly found myself a little jealous when they tried to hook up with him (which he never showed interest towards them). I've never shared this with anyone but my sister and she said she was not surprised because she could see it on the way he looks at me. One thing I forgot to mention is that when I would feel jealousy I would always brush it off and say to myself what the heck is wrong with ne. I really care about him but I'm not too sure about having a relationship with him considering the circumstances. He's a very nice guy that everyone loves and he's very hip so everyone loves him even more. His son definitely had a lot of his personality. What should I do....please help me. Even now he still feels the same.
Thank you so much for your much needed thorough response. I have given it a lot of thought it's just so many things running through my head.
Yes I was blown away when he told me this. My mind began to twirl.
At this point he is asking if me and him can sit down and have a chat about it and it's funny u mention going out because he's offered to take me out bowling or something ans insisted that I could bring my sister if I felt uncomfortable
I don't think I know how I feel about it other than I care about him. I have to figure that out.
All in all yes that was a very huge step and a confession I didn't see coming
Thank you again for your response as it is the best I've ever received on this site.
Thanks again and take care.
I just texted him and told him I was ready to finally discuss it further. My stomach is in knots right now lol. Like I'll probably have to hurl before I leave lol. I'm joking I think...
Any tips on preparing or what to focus on?