Thank you for your thoughts. I can't believe how much of a help you've been.
I would really, truly like to resolve this but I feel like if I contact him again it will read as if I'm desperate which truly I am but I don't want to convey that to him. I'm praying that one day he will call or even respond to my last message.
It seems like it takes him a lot of time to respond even though he logs on periodically.
I would like to contact him again and see if I can get him to call me so we can talk but I don't know if my pride can handle it because I don't want another confrontation.
At the same time. I don't want him to feel as if I'm forcing him to communicate with me.
Ok Thank you. I swallowed my pride and asked him to please call me. I am so nervous and can feel the knots forming in my stomach because for one I don't know how this could end and secondly I'm so out of my comfort zone. Having said that, I know that was the right thing to do was contact him again. Now if he doesn't then I can sleep at night knowing that I've tried.
I'm hoping he will think about and call. Even if he calls to curse me out or to be combative, I will take it as at least he called. I'm going to be completely honest and be as kind as I possibly can, even thanking him for calling me.
I will be sure to keep u updated.
Hello. Just a quick update. He received my message on Facebook asking him to contact me however I think it's safe to say that he's decided not to. I really hoped he would but it's not looking like he will. I'm thinking at this point it might not be that he's still hurt but rather he just chooses not to have any type of interaction with me.
I am a little hurt I have to admit but...I really tried and I hate that I have to try to forget about it all over again. Just taking it as a learning experience.
Thank you for your time and effort. It really meant a great deal to me.
Oh and in case u were wondering, he received my last message almost about a week ago.
It's been about a week and I know that is a little bit of a long time, he might wait two weeks to contact you. He also might be a little nervous to call. so he might respond in an e-mail. He is not going to call you right away because he is seeing what your intentions are and how much you are interested. He doesn't want to get hurt again, so he might be a lithe stand offish. This is very normal. He also has to get to know you again and might be hesitate because he doesn't know what to say, I think you are going to have to do most of the talking with him, until he gets more comfortable with you both interacting.
He might be seeing if you are still going to continue to contact him and that is because he wants to see if you are really interested in him.
I would wait a little longer and see if he contacts you.
Thank you for your question.
Quick update. After waiting nearly 3 weeks I gave up and decided to move on because I grew tired of the anxiety. I sent him one final message and I told him that I was assuming he was not gonna call and that if he ever changed his mind I would love to hear from him. I sent him that message and I was officially done with it, moving on.
Today, 5 days after I sent him that he writes me back on Facebook asking me what my number was. I thought that was odd considering I had given him that information already but I was so happy he had responded without calling me out my name that I immediately replied giving it to him. Here's where things become confusing...
I gave him my number...again...and he immediately responds saying, "What am I calling for though?" After telling him to hold on a second because I was driving, he says, "You must want some more." So I'm freaking out like omg he's gonna call me out of my name again. So I say, "Want some more what?" And he's like, "Attention." I'm thinking to myself what?! I then tried to turn it into a positive saying I wanted to see how he was doing and things of that nature and clear up some things which is really why I kept bugging you so..yeah attention but nothing bad. He then says, "I've been good but what's up? I can't call right now because there's too many people around." Then out of nowhere he says, "You know that wasn't even suppose to happen."
ME: "What wasn't suppose to happen?" (->Now I'm thinking hmmm why is he making a point mentioning this! Of course I was going to bring this up down the line but he went there first)
Him: All that. But what are you trying to clear up babe
Me: Just call me when you are alone and you have some time because I don't wanna talk about it on Facebook
Him: Well you've been messaging me now when I'm responding you're playing. What's up girl? I'm just trying to see what you could want from me.
You're playing, I thought you actually wanted something, you just want some attention like I thought. Beat it!
Me: I'm not playing I'm actually very serious. I don't want anything from you but just a moment of your time. I didn't wanna talk about it on the book which is why I asked you to call me.
I wanted you to call me because I wanted to apologize to you for anything that's caused us not to be cool or friends
Him: You playing because I keep asking you what's up. What do you need my time for? I mean we weren't nothing for real.
Me: I've always wanted to tell you that but I never had the opportunityandafter a while i did not know how to approach the situation.
Well then why are we not friends???
Him: It isn't a issue but I have a woman and you know that, and you just be doing too much.
Are you still here in the city?
So what are you apologizing for?
Me: That's great that you have somebody, I would expect you to, it's been forever. I just wanna be cool with you, like I said I don'twant anything from you. How do I do too much? I will be there next month. Inever lived there just visited a lot.
Him: Oh ok, well you just have a nice life, thanks for checking on me.
Me: I guess it was just something to me then.
You're welcome...I guess??? <-----I said I guess because it read as he was being sarcastic maybe?
The last thing I said was "Thank you for at least responding" to which he saw and never responded. This all happened at like 8am today. My feelings towards this is that I'm confused and I'm not sure what this achieved, especially apologizing on such a public forum. I thought he was going to call because he started out asking for my number again. Anywho, I am grateful that he did respond and if it was nothing to him then I really hope it was because then that would mean I shouldn't feel guilty...I don't even feel stupid about it really and I don't feel like it wasn't suppose to happen. As far as himhaving a girlfriend idk why he would say I know he does when Ihaven't spoken to him in 9 years. Anyways, just wanted to thank you again and ask for your thoughts on how this conversation went. Part of me just wanted to say look I apologize if you can't accept it, two words for you and it ain't "Happy Birthday" lol. But I'm trying to treat this delicately and remain respectful at all times. And as far as me just wanting attention...what?! LOL
Can't wait to hear your thoughts! You've been a huge help!