I have been in a relationship with someone for a long time, but last December & January we were having trouble, and briefly separated. During this time I made a huge mistake and slept with someone else, once on Jan 18. We used protection (3 forms). Shortly after I have gotten back with my significant other and he wanted to try for a baby. I have always wanted to be a mother, therefore I agreed and went off birth control in Feb. I found out I was pregnant in March. I have talked with numerous doctors to confirm my EDD and paternity, and my partner is for sure the father of my baby.
However, I am having trouble accepting this information because I believe I should be punished in some fashion for my actions. The guy I slept with once, we knew each other prior, and he would make jokes about how out kids would be "cute". joke about names, and would also talk about how if I got pregnant I would have to get an abortion. I guess I liked the attention I was receiving at the time since I was not receiving it from my significant other, so I went along with it. I am not sure how to deal with this guilt and how to go on. I know there is no way I got pregnant from this encounter since I was on birth control, the dating is off, and I had a period after, but the guilt is eating me alive and I constantly question "what if". Do you have any advice?
I hope you do not judge me. I made a mistake. A huge one. It was a one time thing and something that I would never do again. I was in a low point in life, but need to figure out a way to go on and enjoy life again.
Thank you for your response. You are absolutely correct and I know all of these things, but moving off is easier said than done!
Do you think my losing sleep/constant fear over the fact that the baby belongs to the other encounter and that the jokes will come back to "bite me" (although it has been disproven by doctors, used birth control, and dates are completely off) is from guilt?