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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Lastly, is my 20 year old son aware that his Dad isvtrying

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Lastly, is my 20 year old son aware that his Dad is trying to control him? He feels it, but does he know it intuitively? He has been in therapy for four years.

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Dear Dawn,

Using the relationship category is much faster.

Sometimes we can intuitively know something on the unconscious level, but on the conscious level we may be in denial.

You probably cannot effectively tell your son that his father is trying to control him. He may understand that alread but will not want to be drawn into the endless conflict or lack of communication between you and your husband. He is already torn by this.

I suggest that you get him this book. It is a great read and will wake him up. Don't mention his father. Let hims make the connection. If YOU try to he will deny it but if he sees it himself, the light of recognition will illuminate.

Product Details

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family by Eleanor Payson

I wish you great success and best wishes, and shall continue to hold you all in my prayers.


Warm regards,



Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He will make the connection immediately if I give him this book, and I regret it may likely annoy him. So I better not do it.

I am sure he knows it on a subconscious level. MAYBE ONE DAY I can have a conversation if he brings it up when he matures. He may not be ready to consciously admit it. In fact, once I told him Dad was narcissistic and he seemed later annoyed by it. I will wait until he approaches me. I bet his psychiatrist knows it, but I have no idea how he cousels my son. if I am the one to talk about Dad, once again, I run the risk of making myself look bad. I have a history of being enmeshed with him due to Dads behavior which was broken four years ago after he started therapy. Isnt this the relationship category?

Dear Dawn,

You don't have to give him the book. You can have it laying around the house next time he comes over. It looks interesting enough to pick up. If he is interested then you can tell him he can borrow it if he likes. Don't mention his dad, of course.

You are very correct to be wary of any enmeshment with him and his father. Try to keep your relationship with your son one-on-one.

Warm regards.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Thank you so much, Dawn.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Thank you again. You are so sweet.


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