Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am sorry to know about these serious situations affecting your marriage and family.
When an adult, with no good reason, experiences and express any destructive emotion or feeling-behavior against another person, it would show such person has serious mental health and/or personality problems.
Your message is brief but you made clear you wanted to leave him, but have had not courage to take consistent action. this shows the marriage should be dysfunctional enough for you to want to leaver your husband, and this issue he creates around your son's girlfriend, is just one more problem consequence of his serious personal issues, affecting your marriage and family integrity.
Could you please join the chat for us to dialogue about your situation?
As I am soon going abroad for some weeks, I cannot really follow through just now but I will
be glad to do so when I return because I know the problem will always be there, meanwhile
No problem. Thank you for replying.
I have been given food for thought.
I truly hope there could be a solution to this serious situation, please feel free to contact me as needed since I will be here to support you.
p.s. I am on my own for a short while which is why I'm writing now but the house will soon
be full again.