How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Rafael M.T.Therapist Your Own Question

Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
65591635
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Rafael M.T.Therapist is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My fiance does not want to be with me. At first i thought he

Resolved Question:

My fiance does not want to be with me. At first i thought he was too busy, then i realized every time i asked him, he would say something about me wanting sex mire than i want him. That isn't true. I want him. I just think now that he is saying this because HE doesn't want sex? Why else would HE bring it up every time?? Sex is natural for people in love, however, if he feels that sex is not for him.. , how do I handle it? Do i just take something to lower my sex drive and be with him if he ever comes?? What should i do to make him know i love him, and if he doesn't want sex, that is ok with me?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about this sad and frustrating situation.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you please tell me for how long have you been dating and how long ago did he start being this way towards you, telling you that you do not love him ans avoiding sex?

Customer: What does ans mean?
Customer: and?
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

sorry I meant "and" avoiding sex.

Customer: he doesn't think I don't love him i dont think.. I just think he does not want to have sex with me. When i ask him when I can see him, he only mentions that sex is not the only important part of a relationship. Sooo, i can only surmise that he does not want to make love to me.
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I think you are absolutely right, since sex is an integral part of every healthy and fulfilling relationship, even more when people are dating and working on building affection, passion, attachment and a strong relationship. If you do not happen to be cold towards him, but also show affection, that you care about him, that you want, need and enjoy spending time with him at other areas and activities, then it would not make any sense for him to complain about it and to accuse you the way he does, and if he refuses to have sex with you based on that, I believe that he is avoiding it using such excuses just as you said.

Customer: Ok, that's what I was thinking. Thank you.
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I'm sorry to confirm your fears. If this has been in fact the scenario you have been facing then everything would point at a him making excuses to avoid having sex with you. If that is the case you will need to find out what is the real problem here. Boyfriends do not use o complain about regular sex, they use to feel happy and fulfill of regular sex, and if he was fine with it before, and nothing in your relationship and now he suddenly changed his behavior, it would show that he has a problem and he's not been honest about it, but he may be trying to manipulate you, which would be very concerning of the impact it is obviously impacting your relationship.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You will need to confront his behavior asking him to please be honest with you since it don't make any sense and it' damaging your relationship and that it's something you don't want to afford because you care about him and you have built together. But he needs to do the same for this to work, even if that requires getting professional counseling support. Thank you for your trust. Please feel free to contact me to any further support.

Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Rafael M.T.Therapist and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
914 Satisfied Customers
MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach