I recently received answered questions about my GF and her bipolar issue and all answers were very understandable......yes I am hurt by all her issues and actions and was recommended to give her time and space by which I am.....I told her she can still use the cell phone I got her which I pay for in my account and by which I don't mind and to not worry as I will not call her or text her (which I haven't in a week)....what I cannot understand is if she had told me week ago after writing her letter she no longer loves me and our relationship has no future why still use my cell and instead just return it and cut all ties with me? Is she using me or what?
Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am sorry to know about this situation.
I think you are right, if she tells you that she does not love you and sees no future for your relationship, she should not keep using your phone, that would be the acceptable, responsible and mature thing to do. But she chooses not to do it, thus I believe you need to assess what you want to afford or not in this relationship, and from there set clear and consistent limits and boundaries, the same way you decided to give her time and space. But if you eel that there is no hope here because of her actions and choices, then you would need to decided if you want to continue to be this generous with her paying for her to use your cell phone or not.
Does it make sense?
It is not uncommon for people with bipolar disorder to present other mental health problems including personality disorders, and one common issue is about lack of accountability and tendency to manipulate, which would always require healthy limits and boundaries from people around them, otherwise you would end enabling similar behaviors, which could become more abusive.
I'm very sorry to know about this situation. Everything that you have described here is common behavior presented when serious mental illness affects the person's life.
People with bipolar disorder do present mood changes, irritability, changes of mind, negativity, hostility, deep levels of frustration, push away people, develop dysfunctional attachments, and most times do have other mental health problems besides of the depression and anxiety described before. They use to suffer personality disorders and other conditions that deeply undermind their mood, functioning and relationships
The best you can do is to show empathy, understanding and support while keeping healthy boundaries, in that way you would be able to help her while take good care of yourself.
Thank you for replying.
I would not say that her love was not real, but that love is something always affected by our personality, uniqueness, level of maturity, mood, mental health, experiences and life circumstances. it is not a static and immutable thing, but something we literally develop and improve, shaped by all these factors including values, beliefs, fears and more. This is why a person suffering of serious mental illness would present real difficulties in personal relationships, even more in romantic ones, and this is why necessary psychological treatment and support are so necessary.
It could have been, the only way to know is by better understanding how and when she experience these episodes for you to identify if she was really fully aware of her behaviors or if her actions were undermined by the bipolar symptoms fueled by the manic or depressive episode.
This is not uncommon behavior people with bipolar disorder present.
I am sorry to hear that. Only she knows what she has told her about you. No way to know.
What you need to be clear about is that she has this illness and possibly other problems, which will not disappear, but that she could rehabilitate from them, but it would only happen if she commits to her rehabilitation process with "effective" psychotherapy and hard work on herself, and that it is a long term process.
Not right now. Why?
You see, anxiety could develop and worsen everything else, leading to other disorders making it tougher for the person to cope and fucntion without adequate treatment and support.
Thank you for your trust. This is not easy but tough situation, it requires you to be extra patient, understanding, gentle and compassionate with yourself since it is tough to cope with, and also towards her as long as you feel it is what you want and can afford.
I think so. Time will tell, by now please focus on what depends on you and not on what you cannot control, that way you would be taking good care of yourself and play an even healthier role in her life too.
I have to leave not to reply to other customers. Please feel free to contact me for any further support, just include my name or direct your questions to me and I will reply.
In case you want to consider professional counseling support to better work on coping with this tough situation, know that I am willing to support you with that too through https://pearl.etherapi.com/connectme/164
Please remember, on justanswer.com, your information is NOT confidential, but is public. On pearl.etherapi.com, we can speak confidentially, over a secure network. You're very welcome.
Please remember, on justanswer.com, your information is NOT confidential, but is public. On pearl.etherapi.com, we can speak confidentially, over a secure network.
You're very welocme.
Take gentle care.
(please do not forget to rate support, thanks, bye).