Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
Hi thank you for joining the chat
I am very sorry to know about this very sad and frustrating situation
This is very serious
Now reality is showing you that this person does not deserve the trust, affection and hope you have invested, and it has happened too fast
That's unacceptable once he was aware of your situation, and both as adults chose to engage in this relationship. Unhappily it happened to fast and now you know much more about him, his personality, feelings and ways, his intentions and decisions about you.
I am sorry but this is truly unacceptable for him to do, very abusive and I'd say traumatizing, but you need to come to terms with the fact that it is happening and that it was a mistake to trust a person this much this fast and make serious decisions based on that.
Based on your story I do not see how this person could deserve your affection and trust at all, he is an adult and knew what he was doing, so he caused this serous situation and has not cared at all, but uses excuses to justify his actions, which are obviously unacceptable
I believe that exposing yourself to this person even more, once aware of his real feelings, choices and actions would not help you but hurt you even more
Have you told him about your current situation?
I imagine you had a dysfunctional marriage where you felt unable to make it work, hopeless and helpless, and that's why you allowed yourself to leave even when aware of the multiple challenges that would create for you and your children, right?
For a person to choose to leave a marriage it's obvious you did not feel good, happy and fulfilled in it, and regardless of having found another person in your life or not, I 'd never suggest anybody to perpetuate a marriage or relationship under such circumstances, but now it is tough for you since you are grieving the loss of the new person who was supposed to be the one to fulfil you.
Then I think divorce would have happened sooner or later, and this situation triggered these events, but has become overwhelming for you since it did nto work as you expected and wanted,, because the other person was not truly honest towards you.
The limitation I see happened here was about you trusting this person too soon and making life changes this fast, without truly knowing if he deserved you and was reliable, as well as the feelings he expressed towards you.
You mean a message to send to this French person?
I sincerely XXXXX XXXXX see how that could help but expose you even more to suffer, to become more vulnerable to further neglect and abuse, since his actions shows he truly does not care about you, otherwise he would have never done what he did, leaving you alone this way, it shows he does not care and that the love he showed was not sincere.
I believe you need to focus on healing yourself from what you are grieving, to better cope with present challenges and to avoid exposing to further wounding, since that could never help but undermine your mental health and well-being even more.
Please look for professional individual counseling or psychotherapy which would be very important and necessary for you to get the support you need and deserve to heal and grow from this overwhelming experience, and to avoid developing serious depression or any other mental health disorder.
This site has created a new program that offers fully confidential professional counseling services. Remember, on justanswer.com, your information is NOT confidential, but is public. On pearl.etherapi.com, we can speak confidentially, over a secure network, and could use video and audio conference as needed.
If you would like consider this invitation, please use the following link: https://pearl.etherapi.com/connectme/164But if you prefer face-to-face support n o problem, what is important here is for you to get the help you need to heal and effectively cope with this overwhleming situation.
I support that. Thank you for your trust. Please take gentle care and consistent action getting the support you need.
You're very welcome. Thank you for your trust. Bye for now.