that did help! but theres more. the 1st night we talked about all this, we talked about everything. it turns out she wasnt technically dating this guy. she told me he was there to give her motivation an she told me she never really like him like that. she was in a bad position with her issue an she wanted the motivation from someone she hated than the one she loved. but before she told me that i believed it was just someone else like she said. but 2 nights ago we were at her house watching tv and she looked like she was a little down an i asked her whats wrong an she said i dont know i just been thinking. and i asked her what about? she said about work an school an us. i asked what about us. she had a long pause an she said what if dont ever get those feeling back? an i told her i think its because i just need time. an we talked an she asked why dont you love me now? if you loved me now then you would of forgiven me an be like we were. i told her i forgive her but my feelings arent as strong like they were. an she said if i dont love her now then i never did love her. an i started to feel guilty because it feels like its all on me. i just felt interrogated with all these love questions. an i told her how my feeling were. like they feel like theyre there an then theyre not then some are there then theyre not then all of them are there then theyre not. an to be honest i never been in this situation before where i had a girl ask me back. so i feel like i got a short time frame to get my feelings backor shes gonna leave. she said shes not goin to cause she loves me. an i dont throw around the term "i love you" like everyone else does. i say it when its right. like when we were together the 1st time, i felt like she was the one i wanna spend the rest of my life with an be there for everything. an i was so close to saying those 3 words before she left. but to me it feels like shes already got herself prepared for me not having those feeling anymore an it doesnt help me. i just want her to understand that i just wanna go with the flow an see where all this takes us w/o asking those types of questions like do you have your feelings back or do you love me cause that just puts more pressure on me. i mean it might take us days, weeks, or months
that helps more. i got advice from my friend an my brother saying you can forgive but youll never forget. we were together for 3-4 months an known each for like 3/4 of a year. when we were with eachother, i never felt like this for any other girl. but will time bring back these feelings that i had before she left? cause my buddy gave me more advice saying go home, lay in bed, look at the cieling, an tell your self what do you want. so i thought an i told him i want the way we were before she left. so he said ok then strive for that an give it time
well im talking to her now an she doesnt know what to do. were both hurt an she wants me to make a decision an also sayin she doesnt know what to do. she said she doesnt wanna leave but she trying to figure out weather to stay or not an everything shes telling me is not helping. i tried explaining to her about what you told me but she said its just hurting both of us. she said it wil be hard for her to go all the way back to square 1 when shes at square 50 an she'll be at square 60 by the time at square. shes assuming all these negative thoughts an its not helping.
well we talked this past sunday night an i told her my point of view. but what she responde back was she wants a clean break. a clean break mean no contact or interactions with eachother. but from what she told me what she meant a clean break is she is done but wants to be friends till she gets over me. so i asked her if we could have this again an she said not till i get over you. i told her that didnt make sense an her response to that was you want a new beginning and i cant do that till im over it. so i asked if she is just goin to completely fall out of love an she said you cant just fall out of love you just learn to get over it. so i asked her so when you get over it then an she said yea. to you what does it sound like shes trying to say?