Well, it's a little more complex than just that. She's said that she thinks she will "get over" her fear of saliva (or at least, of mine specifically) when we have been together longer. If that really happens, then I'll be fine with it. I'm just worried that this isn't the sort of thing that will resolve on its own.
Mainly I want to know what (specific) questions I should ask her to determine what her stance is on overcoming her fear of saliva or not, so I can have one conversation about it instead of asking questions as I think of them, weeks apart, which is probably unsettling for her.
(As for not liking intimacy, she has also told me that she "absolutely intends to have lots of sex [with me]" should we get married, and we've already almost had sex more than once. Once she's turned on enough, she doesn't appear to mind kissing (from what I've read, oxytocin increases (from arousal) reduce amygdalic activity), but the problem is that I don't know how to turn her on to that level without kissing. All of the times where she got turned on enough to not mind kissing were before she told me that she didn't like kissing, and so I was still able to use kissing to turn her on despite her phobia. I know it doesn't make a lot of sense, but that's what I have to work with.)