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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I am in no right to question your expertise and i am truely

This answer was rated:

I am in no right to question your expertise and i am truely happy with your answer, but was my question elaborated enough to make you sure in your answer, and i am happy that i have some shed light from you. My intuition was spot on point ! So I thank you heaps elliot. Is there anymore I should say about him or this, or was that question all enough ??
I am pretty gutted however relieved. His loss anyway i guess. How soon should i break the breakup with him? Tomorrow? And how do i make my breakup sound valid for him to just walk away aswell ? Cheers XXXXX XXXXX
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear Abigail,

Thanks for getting back to me.

You have every right in the world to question anyone who gives you advice, professional or otherwise.

I must say that your description of your situation and his treatment of you was gut-wrenching and I could feel your anguish and sorry.

He is not doing this to be mean to you. He is not trying to use you. However, he does not want to be in this situation, judging by his consistently uncaring treatment of you.

You said all that you needed to say to describe your situation and it is still tearing at my feelings. Being a therapist does not make me immune from feeling the sorrows of others. I think it is a gift and I can endure it and function.

You have alreaded experienced continued rejection and disinterest and now you know how you feel. You are ready to be strong, direct, and tough (which does not mean unkind).

Tell him how you feel. Tell him about all of the negative changes you have seen over time, and how you realize the relationship has deteriorated.

Don't be ambiguous. Don't try to spare his feelings or try to soften the blow. Don't be vague or wishy washy. Be direct. Say is straight and don't hold back on how you feel or what you mean.

There is no perfect way, but once you decide to tell him, tell him "it's over". Be perfectly clear.

You will have to talk about his responsibilities as a father. He does not have to be present in your child's life if his heart is not into it. He just has to pay his share of support.

I wish you the courage and strength, but I believe that you already are quite strong and able to move on with you life, even in your vulnerable emotional state of being close to delivery.

I wish you once again great success in your motherhood and in future relationships. A man must care for you and for your baby whether it is his or not. A man who loves you will love your baby whether or not he is the biological father. Love is what you need.

Warmest regards,

Elliott
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