Ma chere Genevieve, If you have any more questions to ask me please do. But you seem to have gotten what you're asking for, so you can click Accept and release your funds so I am paid.
I recognize from your questions that you have a high anxiety about abandonment, and this is clearly one of the emotional time-bombs in your being that can push you over the edge into an explosive reaction. Perhaps you had a parent who abandoned you completely, or that threatened to abandon you often, or used ignoring or unresponsive-ness as weapons to keep you from disturbing her or his activities. If that is so, then another goal of your therapy needs to be to build a relationship with someone who you can reliably depend on (in imagination, inside of yourself) to act as your secure home base when you are alone, and when someone else who you love goes away from you.
Through NO mistakes of their own, Many people have had the misfortune to have NEITHER parent (& esp not their mother) be sufficiently reliably present and responsive in early childhood to enable them to build this inner image of security for themselves. When they get deeply in love in young and even middle adulthood, These people are likely to unconsciously attempt to create this secure home base through the physical presence and emotional reassurance of their love partner, which is exactly what any healthy human being would naturally do. But when the early childhood model for this secure base is missing, their need for reliability and emotional safety is so strong and so vulnerable (lacking in an emergency backup security system), that any crisis of possibly losing the adult lover (like a dangerous argument) triggers the most catastrophic expectation of loss. Thus these people without a backup security system of an internal secure base may cling to their lover so intensely when they feel threatened with loss, that the lovers feel strangled and may fear their partner's desperate intensity, so they will push her away--which is exactly what she fears the most. [Isn't THIS what you're worried your boyfriend might be doing this time?]
If that normal human fragility is part of the biological basis of your emotional patterns, then your long term emotional health would best be served if you ALSO build a relationship with a therapist (or an older relative or friend who loves you enough to do this) so that you can ALWAYS go to see her or him when you need an absolutely secure base trustworthy connection. Both my wife and I have served as "on-call" secure-base therapists for many people (and for me that also includes students who've seen me for only dream interpretation or a little therapy, and some online therapy clients that are connecting thru the internet at first). We are both elders, and there are many others in our profession as well as in religious and spiritual institutions and groups, for whom loving younger people and guiding them when asked is a privilege, not a duty. Though nobody ever taught this in graduate school for psychotherapy, for those of us who experience it as a calling, psychotherapy is an act of God.
It may become safe enough in a marriage for a person who has lacked secure attachment to either parent to have her spouse as secure base. But many people with unfairly damaged parenting also have a therapist who they may keep contacting intermittently over many years or decades; and there are also many people who are able to rely on their inner connection to a deceased parent, grandparent, Higher Power, or religious guide. Psychologist Carl Gustav Jung agreed with many native peoples that he had consulted during his long career as a pioneering psychoanalyst when he said that we all have an Archetypal pattern in our brains for a Mother and a Father, with the Mother-Archetype being more primary; and as a result we are all capable of having MANY MOTHERS and MANY FATHERS, not just from among our aunts and uncles and grandparents, but also from the mentors and other admiring and loving guides that we meet during our lives, from the religious and spiritual figures that we believe in and may pray to, and from the expert counselors, therapists and educators we may encounter.
What I'm suggesting to you, whether my speculation is accurate or not that you may have been undeservedly deprived of the secure parenting that every person needs, is that you can by your own intention exert the extra energy (and the extra money-energy if necessary) to reach out for extra trustworthy mentorship, therapy and guidance, so that you won't have to go through life being dangerously (to you) reactive to arguments, instability and potential loss of your romantic lover. You will probably be able to sense whether your new therapist experiences her or his work or not as a privilege to love clients and wants to provide you with a secure base to touch in to in the foreseeable future. If your therapist approaches the treatment process as a craft but does not foresee further involvement as one of "many mothers" or "many fathers," then you might consider further therapy afterwards for your abandonment feelings, if they are as powerful as they may be.