How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question

TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5762
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
TherapistMaryAnn is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Thank you very much. I told him abuse in any form is never

This answer was rated:

Thank you very much. I told him abuse in any form is never okay, and I don't want him to be necessarily involved in our marital issues. He said okay. Doesn't is sound more like minimization than inability to see it? I told him that he had way too much therapy to be manipulative ( hoping im right, but realize I shouldn't have done that comparison with Dad )
You're welcome!

It could be that he is minimizing, but without being able to talk to him directly it is hard to tell. Most kids, however, cannot deal with seeing abuse between their parents so they use some type of defense to cope with it. Minimizing or denying are the two of the most common ways kids cope with domestic abuse.

It is good to keep him out of the issues between you and your husband. If he does witness something, it is ok to let him inquire about it or talk to you in general about his feelings. And the more objective you can be with him and the more you can focus on his feelings, the better.

TherapistMaryAnn and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I have not see him ever tolerste my husbands abuse as he usually avoids him.And in no way have I ever seen him manipulative toward me or anyone else. in fact, he has good boundries. Does this mean I should relax about his own character?


AND can I ask another question under seperate cover, not involved one. Sorry about the typos, my computer is tough to type on.

No it does not sound like your son is manipulative. It sounds more like he is trying to cope through his defenses. In other words, he is either minimizing or he is denying that your husband is abusive which is not manipulative at all. His response is normal for a kid that has seen abuse from a parent. But he does need to know that abuse in general is wrong. A lot of kids learn that because their parent abuses, then it is acceptable behavior. Teaching him that abuse is serious and unacceptable helps him.

You can ask a separate question, no problem :)

TherapistMaryAnn and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

Related Relationship Questions