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Jean
Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 20 plus years of experience in the field.
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After panic attack and depression will the person back to his

Resolved Question:

After panic attack and depression will the person back to his personalty?
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jean replied 11 months ago.

20pluscounts :

Hello, I am available to assist you. Thank you for your question. Welcome!

20pluscounts :

I'm sorry for the struggle in your relationship.

20pluscounts :

I would imagine some form of anxiety or depression was present prior to this panic attack, but maybe not to this level. Was there anything you are aware of that may have triggered this? He may be feeling some sort of stress, pressure, and or fear in his life.

20pluscounts :

There are different forms of anxiety. If there has been a trauma in his life he may be experiencing anxiety more specific to that. Generalized anxiety disorder is the more general free floating, nothing specific explains the panic attack.

20pluscounts :

Hello, can you join me for a live chat?

Customer:

hi

20pluscounts :

Hello, thanks for joining me. Both anxiety and depression is treatable.

Customer:

hello

Customer:

thanks for you

20pluscounts :

Often a combination of talk therapy and psychotropic medications are the common treatment approach.

Customer:

yes i think he was in abad relatitionship before

20pluscounts :

Maybe he is afraid being in a relationship because of past hurt.

Customer:

yes i think that

Customer:

but i have abd relationship before

Customer:

and iam not afraid

Customer:

the reson of panic attack becouse of me

Customer:

but i wasn't know that he is so sensetive and sick

Customer:

i dropped him 2 times but i just saying that and after 1 hours i called him back and solve the proplem

Customer:

hello

20pluscounts :

Is he willing to talk to you about his struggle? He may be more vulnerable genetically to anxiety and depression than someone else. Do not blame yourself, you did not make this happen. Sensitive can make a person susceptible to anxiety.

Customer:

no he refuse to go doctor

Customer:

but he admit that have proplem

20pluscounts :

It would be best if he could talk to you more about this, answer questions you have. You must be confused about all of this. That's unfortunate because he could get treatment if he sees the doctor.

20pluscounts :

Admitting the problem is the first step in getting better.

Customer:

but what i have to do

Customer:

be with him or not

Customer:

he don't want to be with me anymore also he want me call and ask about him

Customer:

and i am really confused

20pluscounts :

You can love and support him, but he has to be willing to get the help, to see the doctor or a counselor.

20pluscounts :

He has ended the relationship?

Customer:

he told me i have to think

Customer:

becouse iam afraid to dropped me again

20pluscounts :

Maybe giving him a little time to sort this out could help him.

Customer:

iam afraid becouse his ungle like that

Customer:

he all the time talk about his uncle

Customer:

sico and no one deal with him so it is afamily issue

20pluscounts :

Yes, you are afraid he will end the relationship. Afraid he will be like his uncle? He may also be afraid he will be like his uncle. Anxiety is scary and uncomfortable.

Customer:

yes

Customer:

so what do you think i have to do?

20pluscounts :

Sadly some families do not talk openly about depression or anxiety they may feel shame.

Customer:

yes that is what happens with them

Customer:

and i read to much about depression but still i don't know what to do

Customer:

he don't want to help him self

20pluscounts :

If he is unwilling to talk to you about this, and he is pushing you away, you may need to give him the space for now. That does not mean it will not change for the better. You are sad and feeling rejected, you need to have someone to talk to, support for you.

Customer:

and he had 3 panic attack in 2 weeks

Customer:

and he is young 26 years old

20pluscounts :

People who love someone who is anxious or depressed can feel really helpless- because he has to decide to get the help. Maybe it will get uncomfortable for him and he will see a doctor.

Customer:

yes really i need support

Customer:

he will back normal or what

20pluscounts :

Three panic attacks- that's scary, some people feel like they are having a heart attack.

Customer:

he said that

20pluscounts :

If he get the help he needs there is a much better chance he will be back to how he was before.

Customer:

and about his ides to end the relation?

Customer:

because he feel that i am the cause of his depression

20pluscounts :

For now you can tell him you are thinking about him and worried about him and want to support him. Being anxious and depressed- it's hard to maintain a relationship when his symptoms are so bad. You are not the cause of the depression- no.

20pluscounts :

He may be depressed because he keeps all his feelings in and thinks negatively.

Customer:

so you think if he see doctor he will back to keep the relation our weeding suppose after 5 month

20pluscounts :

It may also be genetic- you can not make him depressed. The only way you can help in this is for him to share more with you, allow you in to support him. If he is pushing you away that makes it really difficult for you to support him.

20pluscounts :

His ending the relationship may be related to his feelings changing in the relationship, do you think?

Customer:

why it is changing?

Customer:

no one perfect and my personalty so quite but it is normaly to problem happens some times

20pluscounts :

A person can be depressed and anxious and continue to love and care for others. If he says he wants to end the relationship I wonder if his feelings have changed and he is pushing you away. It's hard to know when he tells you so little. Was he starting to push you away- did you notice a change in how he was with you?

20pluscounts :

No, no one is perfect- you are right about that.

Customer:

yes

Customer:

he pushing me a way

20pluscounts :

It would be so much more helpful to you if he would talk to you more about this. Have you asked him if his feelings have changed?

Customer:

yes

Customer:

and he was so upset

Customer:

and angry and he told me i don't want to think about this now

20pluscounts :

As difficult as this is you may have to give him space to think about this. If you push too much he may push you even further away.

Customer:

yes i start to do that

Customer:

but what about me ?lool

20pluscounts :

I know it hurts you, I'm sorry for that.

20pluscounts :

You have to find support for you to help you through this, while he figures this out. Do you have friends or family you can talk to?

Customer:

yes and they all told me he love he will back

Customer:

but really i don't think

Customer:

becouse i know he is tired know but he can now his feelings towards me

Customer:

right?

20pluscounts :

You do matter, you are special, remember that. It's scary for you to think he will not be back to himself.

Customer:

yes

20pluscounts :

Of course, this is one of the most difficult things to deal with in life- fear of losing someone special in our life.

20pluscounts :

It can feel like when someone dies- very very sad.

Customer:

what do think iam right about my question

Customer:

he is tired but he know about his feelings towered me right?

Customer:

really for the time being i want to know the true

Customer:

to see how i can help my self now

20pluscounts :

If he does not share with you, talk to you, you can not read his mind. After some time and rest, he may be more willing to talk. He may be confused- consumed with anxiety and depression. Of course you want the truth. It is most important to care for you- because you can not change him- he has to do that.

Customer:

so how i can help to convince him see doctor first

Customer:

then i will ask him about me

20pluscounts :

You did not cause him to have a panic attack- it's something within him. Telling him you care and worry about him, and if he wants you would go with him to the doctor- help and support him in any way you can.

Customer:

ok but he say to me don't remember me that iam sick person

Customer:

and after that he start to push me away

20pluscounts :

He has to allow you to help- you can not make him- or force him. Telling him talking to the doctor could bring him some comfort and relief. He tells you not to remember him because he is a sick person?

Customer:

yes

Customer:

he told i admit i have problem i will go to doctor when i want

20pluscounts :

Tell him you care and you are there for him, and if he is sick he can get help for that. Tell him he matters to you.

Customer:

and alone without me

Customer:

i said alot of that words

Customer:

but he want from me to stop talking in this issues

20pluscounts :

That is exactly right- he has to decide- I know that is really hard for you. He knows you care then.

Customer:

yes

Customer:

so now

Customer:

i care like past

Customer:

old i have to reduce a little of caring

Customer:

bye calling him or sending msgs

Customer:

the problem is we are working in the same copmany

Customer:

and i feel when he see he make him worse

Customer:

i wonder he was very sensitive kind gentle polite and lover

Customer:

how come to be like that ????????????/

20pluscounts :

Do you think you could give him space and time to think about this? Let him sort this out for awhile and hope and pray he comes back to you the same person he was before. You will not stop caring, but you may have to do it from a distance. Yes, more difficult when you work together. You can give him space at work too. Allow him to seek you out, let him realize you are special, a gift.

Customer:

hahaa

Customer:

he also don't want to see anyone

Customer:

family friends me

Customer:

he alone in his house

20pluscounts :

It's really hard and it hurts, it does not make sense- so it's difficult trying to understand. Maybe he has to get really lonely before he gets help.

20pluscounts :

Is his family checking on him?

Customer:

yes but they think he is a sensitive guy

Customer:

just

Customer:

i think i am know the result he will not go to doctor and he will end the relation too

Customer:

so now tell me how i can be better

20pluscounts :

You worry about him. It's important that his family or friends checks on him when he is struggling. That hurts a lot to worry he will end the relationship. He has to make those decisions- not much you can do to force him.

Customer:

ya i know

Customer:

but really i am fed up with him and tiered because in the first i said to him i can be with you in a relation i get divorced soon and my dad pass away so he convince he will support but i think that's he who need to support and i tried for one week and really i love him and care but i can't

20pluscounts :

When we hurt in a relationship, lose someone, time is the true healer. It's normal for you to feel sad, worried, etc. Have people to talk to, or write in a journal. Allow yourself to feel sad, cry, that's part of you getting better. Also be with people who care about you. Find things to do to get your mind off this for a bit.

Customer:

i meant i didn't want to be in a relation

20pluscounts :

You feel angry too- that's okay- that's normal.

Customer:

yesssssssss

20pluscounts :

This is hard on you!

Customer:

yes alot and many guys after my divorced up used me

Customer:

and go without say bye at least

20pluscounts :

He's hurting you by pushing you away- that is unfair to you- and makes you angry. You have to work on getting stronger- find a good man :)

Customer:

lool

Customer:

may be i hate all men know

Customer:

he was so good

20pluscounts :

You can say goodbye or just pull away and allow him to seek you out. Yes it feels like hate when you hurt so bad.

20pluscounts :

Anger is sadness and knowing this makes little sense.

Customer:

do you think he will seek for me

Customer:

?

Customer:

if i go a way?

20pluscounts :

Whatever you feel is okay- because you have been hurt- maybe reminds you of being hurt before. There is a better chance he will seek you out if you pull away and give him space. Some people feel smothered and pull further away.

20pluscounts :

You chase and he may run further away. You not chasing him, will make him think more about you.

20pluscounts :

It's hard to let go- of course!

Customer:

so i can wait for two day

Customer:

because he told me before i will see doctor in Saturday

Customer:

and if he son't i will say to him good bye

Customer:

and if he saw the doctor and pushing me out

Customer:

also i will say good bye

Customer:

right?

20pluscounts :

I do need to go in a few minutes. I hope chatting has helped you a bit. I do hope things get better for you. Please let me know how things go. Yes wait a couple days, a good start- maybe longer. Let him think and wonder about you. That sounds like a good plan. The best to you my friend!

20pluscounts :

Right!

20pluscounts :

Be strong and have courage!

Customer:

thanks dear

20pluscounts :

You are welcome. Please rate my answer so I can get credit- ok or higher please.

Customer:

ok

20pluscounts :

I will say a prayer for you and him also.

Customer:

thanks alot

20pluscounts :

The best to you!

20pluscounts :

Be sure and rate my answer so I can get credit- much appreciated!!

Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 20 plus years of experience in the field.
Jean and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Jean replied 11 months ago.
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