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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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I have a friend who does a lot of things with her kids who

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I have a friend who does a lot of things with her kids who have their own child. She talks to me and emails, and says things like "we just got back from Seattle", and they were at a concert in a small city near Seattle, and "the kids are coming up from CA for a visit next week", and it was just the two granddaughters. She was visiting her sister in CA a week ago, and saw them then. So I can't relate to her, she's always correcting the information, and is it unusual to see the grandkids so often? She also was in Europe last month and this is when she injured her knee, she sent pictures and emails all month but did not tell me about it until they got home. Is this a normal way of relating? I know my other friends, did not know about what they were doing all the time but when I did I was sure of what was going on. Do you know people like this? They are foreign originally but have lived in the U.S. for many years. My feeling is she has many family and friends and with the knee decided not to tell me in front of her husband, who is very old...did she want me out of the picture? It got to where I asked her, but she said no. She did not have that many friends, lots of sort of business contacts, then when in CA had old friends from 20 years ago that she visited with there, she had 30 emails when she got back from there, said she really did not care about most of those people. Now I have to ask how she is handling the many emails, if she's so busy all the time can we be close friends?

Deardebra :

Thank you for your question.

Deardebra :

People some times see their grandchildren everyday it depends on how involved the grandparents are in the grandchildren's life.

Deardebra :

Some times people tell their close friends things but not all of their friends.

Deardebra :

She seems like she likes to fill you in on her life because she likes sharing things with you.

Deardebra :

She also did not mention her knee because I think she did not want anyone to worry about her.

Deardebra :

She sent pictures all month and e-mails so she is constantly in contact so I feel that you are very close friends.

Deardebra :

People do not share everything and when someone shares a lot of their life they consider that person a true friend that they trust and care about.

Deardebra :

It sounds like she does not answer all her e-mails because she is so busy. I do not feel like she wants you out of the picture I feel that she wants to be friends and you are important too her.

Deardebra :

When people do not want to be friends they just do not respond. They do not e-mail, write, text, message, call. They just move on from the friendship.

Deardebra :

This is not happening her she is sharing her life with you.

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