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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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my spouse is bossy he doesnt let me argue only his words works

Customer Question

my spouse is bossy he doesnt let me argue only his words works i understand this is how he s been raised but i come from different background where a woman is respected and has a voice first 3 years i understood him when he gave me reason why i m not allowed to do sth but now it s different he says just because i said so and i cant find my self to accept that need help please
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help.

Your difficulty is two-fold:

First, you have married this man and lived under his rules for sometime, and so have established a precedent in this relationship.

Secondly, to him this is the correct relationship between a husband and wife and what he says is the "law".

You have three options, as far as I can see:

The first is to remain the same and be under his control as if you were a child or his private property. I understand that you cannot do this any longer, but if you continue to do nothing then you are, in effect, choosing this option.

The second is to tell him that you cannot and will not live under these circumstances, and although you love him, he will have to treat you as an equal. To that end you must go to family therapy together so that he realises that he no longer can treat you like a valued possession, but rather as an equal partner. Tell him that you will not take no for an answer.

Thirdly, if he will not budge on this demand then you must separate from him until he relents, and if he does not then divorce him, or stay separated from him.

You have no other choices.

You are in a difficult situation, no doubt. If you do not force a change then you will be in the same situation for the rest of your married life.

I wish you great courage and strength and to that end shall keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Thank you so much. May God bless you.

Elliott

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