For the separate room idea, I don't think it could match. He told me numerous times that he is very attached to his family. Which means how could he leaves his family (while on the trip) and just be with me. Separate rooms of course but we somehow have to hang out altogether, no?
So, you think that he didn't think through before he made the plan and asked me?
FYI, I'm in a process of waiting for my residency in Spain and I could not leave Spain anyway and I told him. He replied, it's ok, I will come, not a problem. North is not that far from southern Spain. But I don't want to pressure you. And I replied, it's not a pressure, I would love to meet you too.
Honestly, I'm kinda intrigued. If he really likes me why he not just go to Madrid (where I live in). But he always mentioned like we could meet in the middle somewhere (he says this since our first phone call).
And these 2 days (saturday and sunday) I haven't heard anything from him (I'm a bit conservative to take the first move).
Sorry for late response.
I just feel that he blocked me on whatsapp.
Nothing to say!
I finally got the response from him. It happened he switched his acc to Moroccan number and probably caused a conflict.
He began talking to me, He (H), Me (M). FYI I'm 35 and he is going 37
H : wow I can see that you had such a desire to talk to me. I know I did
M : Firstly coz I thought you block me and I don't know what actually happened
H : I'm so flattered
M : No joking
H : I did not block you and I wouldn't do that
M : I was really pissed off
H : So you do get pissed off ha. Well, you should have called me
M : Yea and I don't like it
H : I forgive you, cause you showed me that matter to you
M : Not funny
H : It is funny, cause I didn't block you, sweet face
A little conflict makes life more interesting. Besides my internet subscription expired for the past 2 days too. So, can I ask you something?
M : Shoot
H : did you miss talking to me?
M : Did you plan this?
H : oh my good, i did not. it just happened
M : if you planned this, you are really evil
H : I would never do that. you are so sweet, so genuine, so normal. But you didn't answer my question. And you did touch my heart the other day by what you said to me
M : I'm still pissed off. Hate you. I don't like to feel like this
H : Wow!! Why hate?? That a strong word
M : Yes, because I strongly don't like to feel like this. Couldn't sleep properly.
H : Aww
H : I didn't know. Honestly. That last thing I want is to hurt you. Specially you
M : Yea right
H : I told you I didn't block you. You haven't given me any reason to do such a thing. You need to chill
M : I told you I could be very sensitive in this period. Now you can see that
H : Your faith needs to be stronger than this evil pain
M : Alhamdullilah my faith is still strong. But afterall I'm only human who has a sensitive side. I'm not a robot. Ok then if you don't block me. Sorry if I was questioning
H : Nice to know. Did you miss me?
M : But if you ever think of playing around, you got a wrong address
H : Stop saying that. I don't play with people's emotion, that dishonest and haram. I see your face and it only brings the best out of me. I don't like stupid conflicts. I'm sooo easy. Cause I don't play games
M : I need someone who could understand my situation. It has been pretty hard for me. I don't know if I'm strong enough to carry more
H : I will call you later. I understand you are going through some hardship. I feel like we should talk rather than chat. Inchallah you'll be just fine. Allah will guide you through. You'll see. Just have faith and be patient
After a while..
M : Now I can answer your question. Yes I did and do miss you
H : Well you have a funny way of showing it. I'm glad you do
M : Cause I rarely showing it
H : Hmm, you are sooo sweet. So what was all that about earlier. ha
M : I truly pissed off but miss you at the same time. But please stop make me blushing
H : Me? Really?
M : Who else?
H : Well, it's nice to see and get in touch with new sides of you. Truly delicious
M : What new sides? Uhh
H : The good and bad ones lol. Someday I'll introduce you to my other sides lol. But for me what you see is what you get
M : But I haven't seen your evil side yet. I need to be prepared for that
H : Well you have to inspire me though
M : It will if we know each other long enough I guess. But I must say that you could more or less handle me in my bad mood. Only very few people I have met in life who could did that
H : Ok, I'll be waiting for the opportunity. Sweet
After few mins, it begins..
H : Were you sort of testing me? And you made this whole story up???
M : Are you crazy. I hate test and to be tested. You can google what the signs if someone block you on whatsapp ( I also sent him the screen shot of his whatsapp chat on my phone). You really cannot feel how i email you? I was pissed to the top. How could you say I made this story up?
H : That was a simple question. Don't get defensive
M : Then up to you if you want to believe me or not. I cannot say anything. I never play mind games. It was a simple question. But you were questioning my motives.
H : You assumed I blocked you
M : But I saw signs. Anyway, I'm sorry. Forgive me?
H : You are forgiven I'm still talking to you
M : Hmm, then why you asked me all this?
H : I asked you cause I don't like to accuse without asking. I don't assume people are guilty before getting their own side do the story
M : Don't mean to be defensive. I asked you politely if you blocked me in my first email. I really couldn't sleep properly last night and feel down you questioning my motives. But it's your right whatever you want to think about me
H : Chatting with someone can only reflect a little about the true character. I hope some day you will have the chance to know me in person. Inchallah
M : I never hide who I am. I sometimes unable to show my feelings coz I'm afraid of getting hurt. Thats all about me. Even you know me for 50 yrs, you will still find those things in me. Hope you have a good trip
H : I never doubted you
Then, we stopped chatting
Please kindly give me the detail of your insight of the whole situation on why he suddenly questioning me after I thought we were ok.
Additional info, he is still regularly online on the dating site.
Thanks for your insight Karin. Really appreciate it.
So, what should I do now? Should I leave him alone or should I contact him? If yes, what should I say? I'm really confused.
Can I continue my situation counseling?
I followed your suggestion regarding our last conversation. I continued communicate with him. However, I suspect that he might be a self saboteur? Because everytime he said something with emotional involved, he just back away.
The last time he said,"the most important thing is, i do feel we could have something, you and I. We should explore further and lets God completes the rest." Then he back away until now. It has been almost 3 weeks.
I decide not to contact him before he initiate it first. I feel he needs to put his words into actions. However, we planned to have a trip together and he was pretty rushing to meet. Till i cancelled it coz it was peak season and only 1 room in some hotels and i didnt want to share with him.
So i guess i have nothing to lose.