I understand what you are saying...believe me I know. I have said all that you suggested and I have apologized and continue to apologize, but she continues to bring it up. She feels that she can't forgive and I feel if she can't forgive that our marriage is doomed. One person, even if they are guilty cannot support a relationship. I do want it to work. I don't want to lose her, but I believe if she is not willing to meet me half way 50/50 then I can't do it on my own. I don't think she is willing to talk to her friends or family about it and the fact that she is willing to hurt me back makes me wonder if she does truly love me or if she was just enamored with the idea of a marriage and now that it is work...she could do without it. She was 33 when we got married and had never been married before. I wasn't actually asking you what I should say to her. I have said all of that. What, as a counselor, would you say to her, given that she wants to work through this mess, I freely admit that I made? How would you explain how to begin healing? Forgiveness? What is most important now to begin the process of reconciliation? How should she treat me? I keep apologizing, but she keeps bringing it up and her distance and coldness is breaking my heart.
What is step 1 for her? Should I continue to beg for her forgiveness, which she says she cannot give?