Thank you for your question.
She knows that she has to study, but what she really wants to do is spend time with you. When she felt like you were bothering her when she was studying, I think she felt that if she got her studying done she could spend time with you so the longer it took the more upset and disappointed she got.
You being a kind and considerate person gave her the space she needed next time to study so you decided to go out with friends.
So now in her mind she is missing out on spending time with you and she does not know what you are doing with out her, so she start thinking things.
This why she accused you of seeing someone else because her mind wandered into negative thoughts.
One thing that you mentioned was that she give you in detail everything she does, so that is her personality. That is who she is and she would expect you to do the same because she is like that, but you do not feel that need to tell her every place you are every minute.
But I do feel when she was studying if you told her where you were every minute it would have eased her mind.
Even though she was studying and you did not want to bother her with text about where you were, she felt you have something to hide. But she should have never thought that.
She feels bad almost left out that she has to take all this time studying and I feel she needs that reassurance that you want nothing more then to be with her then hanging out with friends, but also tell her that you wanted to give her that space she needed to study.
When you went by blew the horn and did not tell her what you were doing she right away thought you were doing something you shouldn't have been doing, so she wanted an answers right away.
The reason why this happens in relationships is because the person in so in love with the person that they are scared to lose them, so they often let their emotions take over and can not control them.
Instead of her thinking things through first she reacted out of her emotions.
She also might have wanted you to stop in to see her even though you wanted her to have her space to study she might have really wanted you to come over.
You are very right on why would you drive by her house and beep if you were doing something wrong. You would have wanted to sneak by and not be seen if you were doing something wrong. So she should look at that as well.
Her not texting or talking and only answering questions she does not know how to let her emotions out to move forward together. She does not solve her anger quickly because she need answers and needs to justify things in her mind.
If you explain everything too her because I feel that is what she is looking for some explanation why O feel she could put it behind her but right now that is what she is thinking about so she is being cold so you know she is still upset. It is like she puts up a wall because she is afraid to get hurt. The reason for this is because she loves you.
When people are hurt they often block out feelings out of fear. she thinks if she does not tell you she loves you that it will save her from being hurt by you, but you can not stop love.
What you need to tell her is for her to let you fully in her life.
She keeps stopping herself because she does not want to get hurt.
What I want you to do is when she wants to study offer her your help. Explain too her that you might be able to ask her questions that might be on the test. You want to show her that you want her to succeed in her studies and that you would do anything to spend time with her and help her.
She thinks that you were out having a great time without her but what she does not realize is that all you wanted to do was be with her.
You ask her if she loved you and I see that she does because if she didn't she would not care and react how she did.
You ask her to meet you in the middle, but she just thinks that you should just understand how she feels.
But relationships are 50/50 and communication is key in a successful relationship.
If she is hurt she needs to talk about it, not shut you out. Problems do not get solved unless they are discussed.
What people do is they hold in all there emotions and then it builds up. She needs to tell you right away in a calm manner what bothers her.
You also need to do the same.
Even if it has to be writtened down and handed too her.
In the situation where she excused you of being with someone else. She should have just nicely asked what you did for the day and where you were coming from when you went by. But instead it turned into an argument and you being accused of something you did not do.
Now she has not got the answers she wanted because it turned into the silent treatment.
So now this is something she can not resolved because she has not let it go yet because she has questions not answered. You both need to talk about what happened so that she can move forward and open back up to focusing on loving you.
She just has wall up right now that need to be broken down and the only way to do that is to reassure her that you love her more than you could ever tell her.
She loves you she just needs to open up to let you in. Thank you again for your question.
Here's what I have decided...healthy or not. I am going to play by her rules and give her a taste of her own medicine. In other words I am not going to have a hell of a lot to say to her! Period! I will say Good Morning, Going To Work, Headed Home, and Good Night. Pretty Much Nothing Else in between and I sure as hell WILL NOT say I love you any longer! If she asks me a question...I will answer it. If She asks why I have stopped telling her I love her I will simply tell her I'm tired of the "K" responses and unless you are retarded or something you should know the appropriate response to someone saying "Good Morning" to you is to say Good Morning back as is "I Love You" unless of course you don't.
Ok...What do you propose? She will NOT talk to me. She isn't refusing to talk, but all she does is answer my questions she is not holding a conversation so that is not talking. That's almost like talking to a death mute. I don't mean that as cold as it sounds, but it is just about that bad. Also her reply to "I Love You" is......."K" If I knew you personally, and I don't know what the "R" stands for but going out on a limb here and just going to give you a name. If you and I bumped into each other and I said Good Morning Robin and you said ANYTHING other than Good Morning Steven back to me.....You have a mental problem, ie...I love you, ...."K" I really do not feel like continuing to "Court" her and draw her out of her shell any longer. I've grown very weary of constantly getting beat up for every little thing I say or do. So if I do little, and say very little, then there shouldn't be a problem. Is that healthy and productive...No, but I've done all I know to do and like I said I've grown very weary, but I am open to listening to your advice. I do know one guaranteed way to hear I love you and the little asshole in me as thought about something, but could never do it. When we are making love and she is at the height of her sexual satisfaction having multiple back to back orgasms she will gasp for air and whisper over and over I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You....and so on. The little asshole in me has thought devilishly of gently putting my hand over her mouth and saying "K" now shut up and lay still! Cold hearted? You bet! Could I ever actually do that? No, never....but it just pisses me off to no end to get a "K" as a response to a very heart felt emotion that I share and get slapped in the face over!
One final question that I don't think you're going to be able to answer...but give it a shot anyway. When I ask "YOU" a question and I specifically request "YOU" why the hell does someone else chime in (Deardebra) with their opinions? I realize it took you a while to know you had a question and maybe the others on this forum thought it wasn't getting answered quick enough. I had no problem waiting....and if I were in a hurry for an answer I can contact customer service. Her advice would be spot on, absolutely great advice, if this were the first...maybe even second time. But the one thing she was lacking was the history of how Sherry continues to act....that is why I wanted to talk to someone who knows the history! This is not the first time I have specifically requested someone and another person jumped in. Very rude and my rating is generally very reflective of that as well.
It will be later this evening before I can close this out and rate your answers as I am going to work. To answer your question of why does she stay...with a guy who is obviously so so screwed up? I guess because she loves me. I have no doubt that she loves me. Financial support? No...she even refuses gifts when we are fussing. She has said time and time again she does not want me for my money (not like I am loaded, but do make about 4 times what she makes). She wants me to love and respect her. The reason I stay is because she really is a good good lady and I've never seen a better mother other than my own and I wouldn't even say my mother was "better" but Sherry is equal to my mother and that is one hell of a compliment! I do love her, and I do think we could make it work....if we can get back to where we once were. That is a big if and at this point I am not sure if it is really possible. I guess all things are possible, but do I have the energy to get us to where we both want to be? Probably not.