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Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1744
Experience:  Providing the Utmost Care and Support
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I am in my 2nd marraige and my spouse is a real genuine person.

Resolved Question:

I am in my 2nd marraige and my spouse is a real genuine person. She has taken a very motherly role with my children from the moment their real mother stepped out on them. She is a great person however lately I have felt unattracted to her and unhappy in my relationship. Not exactly sure if it is anything she did or not but I feel that I need to do something because the feelings I have been having are becoming overwhelming. My previous wife was unhappy and chose not to address the issues, instead she had a series of affairs that lasted 2 years. I am not going to do that to my wife but I feel that I need to do something. But how am I supposed to talk to her about something like this? For all she knows everything is fine and we are a happy couple. She has been so good to me and my children and I cannot fathom dropping something like this on her. I need advice.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 1 year ago.
Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

I do appreciate your openness about these feelings of yours. I also understand that you do not want to drop something like this on her especially since she may not be aware that there is anything wrong or missing in the relationship. She sounds like a wonderful woman and mother to your children, but all that aside, that doesn't mean that something can't be lacking for you.

I might suggest that before you speak with her, you take the time to explore your feelings and you might try doing that in the safe and confidential environment of a therapist. This way, it is your time and your pace to really explore what may be changing for you and how this relationship may be feeling more like a deep friendship rather than a love relationship. A good therapist will help you explore what other things may be going on for you and how your experience with your first wife could be having an impact here. Let me know if this is something that you could do...find a therapist. I would be glad to help you locate one if you provide me with your zip code.

In the meantime, go easy on yourself because you sound like a lovely man and the guilt you may be feeling won't help you in understanding what is going on for you. I look forward to hearing back from you.
Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1744
Experience: Providing the Utmost Care and Support
Coach Jen K. and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Thank you for your response and your insight. I was thinking that this may be the best option as well. I would like some help finding a therapist. My zip is 33837.

Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 1 year ago.
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