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Kate McCoy
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5514
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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Hi! Kate, I forwarded the JustAnswer link to that male "friend"

Customer Question

Hi! Kate,

I forwarded the JustAnswer link to that male "friend" as well as all of my close friends & co-workers who have supported me and knew about the incident. I sent this link trying to let this male “friend” know that I am aware of the incidents and was hoping that he would apologize, but instead he replied, “it’s sure an interesting topic….” I was not happy with him for continuing being pretentious, I forwarded the link to his wife.

His wife emailed me, stating that his husband of 35 years flirts simply for amusement. She added that I have "self-scripted" the issue and called for our friendship to end. In fact, I have all of the male "friends" emails (some were inappropriate) sent to my wife, but I chose not to forward it to his wife as proof. I just replied with short message, starting with “Truth always prevail; therefore, one shall fear not.”

Two of my close friends (one male, one female) said that he is "testing the water". However, it bothers me when my wife thinks I over-reacted, while I (as a male person) think he is looking for an opportunity for my wife's next weaknesses.

I have seen this male "friend" off-routine behaviors and odd body language towards my wife during those periods we had gathering events.

My question is what do you think this male "friend" true intention is?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Hello,

I answered your question on the other request that was canceled. Here is what I wrote:

His intention could be just to flirt. Sometimes people will enjoy the "playing with fire" feeling and flirt with others. People also flirt because they like to feel attractive to others. It can indicate someone who does not know how to be committed in a relationship or someone who has low self esteem. Flirting allows them to feel better about themselves.

However, flirting can also be a step over the boundary to cheating. It takes a friendship and changes it to a possible intimate relationship. And in that way, it can be very dangerous. Most people struggle with the temptation of an affair if someone makes themselves attractive enough and available enough to them.

The fact that this man is approaching your wife in this way also says that he does not respect your feelings about it. While his wife may accept his behavior, you do not have to. So asking your wife to end this relationship is certainly acceptable. And if she cares about you, she should follow through.

Kate
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5514
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
Kate McCoy and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Thank you! It was very kind of you to rate my answers. I appreciate it.

My best to you,
Kate

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