How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Kate McCoy Your Own Question

Kate McCoy
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5450
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
54658078
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Kate McCoy is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hey Kate, I didnt see you on so I post a question to you I

Customer Question

Hey Kate, I didn't see you on so I post a question to you I hope you can find it if you have time
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Hi Dee :)

I am here. I did see a question you had for Elliott that was changed to me, but it disappeared before I had a chance to grab it. I'll be on for a while so if you want to send the question with my name on it, I'll look for it on the queue.

Kate
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Or you can just post it on this question. Forgot about that!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I really hate putting myself in this uncomfortable position but since he replied I will ask another question

Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Oh no, don't worry about that! If Elliott already addressed your question, then it's fine. We can talk another time. No worries!

Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Kate last night I was out what my husband to the store and every aisle he was telling me what to buy and seem like he was hovering over me. When we got home I told him about it and he became angry and shut the door in my face pretty much and he told me that I simply don't like him. I have over told him that he's not listening but he's being defensive yet he's right I don't like him. but I see a pattern here every time he feels judge or criticize he goes up in his room and locks door which to me seems very child like. so is the best way never to address things that bother me because I'm only going to get childlike responses?. Dee

Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Dee,

It sounds like the main issue is communication. Your husband seem to feel upset that you told him you did not like his behavior. It may be that you need to try to tell him in another way so he takes it better. For example, when he is hovering over you in the store, let him know you are doing fine. Then see if he is willing to split the grocery list with you so you can be done faster and so he will be busy and not be hovering over you. Try to present it in a neutral way so he doesn't take offense.

You can also try to talk about how to handle the next grocery trip. See if you can get him to agree to either allow you to shop alone (he can go to another store or run another errand), or he can be assigned a task so he is doing something separate from what you are doing.

Another issue is that he is taking your dislike of him hovering and making it out to be more than it was. You only told him that you wanted to shop without his help. He seems to take offense when none is meant. However, you cannot control his reaction. You can only try to find another angle to get your message across so he backs off and lets you complete your task without hovering. Hopefully, if you try another way to communicate with him, he will accept it and not react so strongly.

Kate
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5450
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
Kate McCoy and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

okay thanks a lot Okay, I will try another angle for my own self preservation.

Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
You're welcome! It's a tough situation I know. Let me know how it goes and if that helps.

Take care,
Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I will, thanks again.

Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Take care!

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency