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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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This is a relationship question. I have been married almost

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This is a relationship question. I have been married almost 14 years. this is a second marriage for both of us. We both have grown children and have tried to bring them together but they don't care for each other. that's not the main issue but here is what I don't understand. My husband and I have made our own family unit with him and I and our 2 little Yorkshire terrier dogs. I have been the main caregiver to the dogs but he has been very close to our oldest dog of 12 years. Well our oldest sweet little dog passed away 1 week ago. My husband did meet me at the vet when he was very sick but left before finding out the results because he said he had to get back to work. The vet told me to leave him and they would call me after running tests. Within an hour they called and said he was not going to survive and to get there quick, which I did. My husband said he could not leave his work and did not go to say good bye. I took my other little dog to say good bye also. I was devastated. The worst day of my life. That evening his son's 3 year old was to have cake and ice cream for her birthday party and my daughter in law asked my husband if it could be postponed for at least a day due to the crisis we were experiencing, but evidently that was not conceivable. My husband left me in tears and the cake and ice cream went on as if no one cared for this little guy. My daughter in law and son came over and stayed with me. Now, not even one week later, I am still grieving and so is my little girl, yet my husband took off with his kids to an amusement park 6 hours away. I am hurt and now I feel betrayed by him.
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Dear friend,

I understand how hurt you are feeling. People are different in their involvement and attachment to animals and in their ability to take death and sorrow in stride.

I have lost several pets and have reacted differently to their passing, from tearfully devastated to philosophically stoic, ready to move on, even when I loved the animals.

You were more bonded to this dog than he was and he was able to move on and handle the situation best way he knew by going about his business, which seemed very callous to you, but perhaps does not indicate that he is a callous person.

You were harsh to him and perhaps he deserved it but perhaps he did not, and it angered him.

He is not sharing the same feelings of grief as you are and perhaps he has just gone away to give you space to grieve.

I urge you not to throw away your relationship because of this.

I shall keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
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