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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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I have to finish planning for my retirement, we have no children,

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I have to finish planning for my retirement, we have no children, and we have a house that is too large. If I live on my own, I will not have as much money. How to decide if I should remarry, also my friend who was going to help, maybe I should be concerned. When I talked to her she said she was going to visit her sister, then it was a big camping trip for a week with over 20 people. She then sent me an email saying they were people she had not seen in 10 years and were part of the extended family. I always have to ask if things are O.K. and worry if I am calling at the wrong time. Does this mean she is being polite and not much more than a friend on the surface? My husband does not want to move but it is impractical to stay here, and I assume he wants to be by himself and does not have enough confidence that he will be in good shape in retirement. The house is too large to stay in until you can not do that like most people do. Do I ask my neighbor if I can move in with them or one of my relatives? What if no money?

Deardebra : Thank you for your question.
Deardebra : if you own the house you live in you can sell the house and buy something smaller. The money you make off the house you put away for retirement.
Deardebra : Aldo if you sold your house and moved in with your neighbor or friend you can use the money you make off the house for retirement.
Deardebra : Your husband does not want to move because he likes his home.
Deardebra : But he needs to think about the future.
Deardebra : You do not want to live on your own because I feel you need each other.
Deardebra : I feel your friend that said they would help will still help. I do not feel you need to be concern with her not helping.
Deardebra : You and your husband need to sit down and talk about what is the best plan for you and him. If you sold your house and made money you could move into something that would be easy to afford.
Deardebra : You could put the money in the bank and make a little money on the interest.
Deardebra : Your husband has to really prepare. As much as he wants to stay in the house he needs to think about long term.
Deardebra : It sounds like your friend is a good friend that truly cares about you and your well being. I feel she would not have offered her help unless ate was serious about helping you.
Deardebra : Moving in with someone would help you save even more money, but if you do not want to live with someone then you need to down size your cost of living and one way to do that is to move into a smaller home.
Deardebra : I don't think living on your own is the answer because it would be best for you both to work together.
Deardebra : You want to think of a plan for the future together. I would be prepared and ask someone else if they would help you and your husband. If you asked a few people you would not have to worry if the person changed their mind. You want to have as much options as you can.
Deardebra : I am am sure there are many people that would help you and your husband. You just want to make sure you ask people if they could help so you will be prepared for the future.
Deardebra : i would talk too your friend and ask her if she is still willing to help you that way you can ease your mind and not worry if she is still willing to help.
Deardebra : Talk to your husband on what you feel is the best thing to do for the future, see what he thinks. But make sure you tell him what you think is best for your lives. Thank you for your question.
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