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Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown, Marriage Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 968
Experience:  Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
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Hi, two years ago my bf and I broke up. He went to university

Customer Question

Hi, two years ago my bf and I broke up. He went to university out of town while I stayed back. When we broke up I tried to get back with him but he told me that he wasn't looking for a serious relationship at the moment. 8 months later he began seeign this girl and 2 months ago they broke up. During all this time we were still communicating but I noticed (when he was single) he began flirting with me again, we even made plans to see each other but a month after that I found out he got back with his gf. As you can see I am very hurt by all this. I desperately want another chance with him but I do not know what to think. I confronted him about the flirting and he told me he wasn't playing games so I guess I beleive him. I just do not understand. Do I have to worry that there will never be a chance with us again? It isn't easy for me to talk to him about it now because when he got back with his gf he didn't call our convo flirting he considered it a good convo but like I said before he told me he meant what he said and wasn't playing games. Please I need some help, I feel torn and I really want things to work out with us one day.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 1 year ago.
Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

I think the message is clear....he hasn't made any attempt to get back together but rather send you mixed signals to keep you hanging on and having hope. I don't hear a man who is acting with care toward you but rather taking care of himself and what he wants and needs. If you felt he was flirting then he probably was and again not right if he is going back to the gf and keeping you hanging on. He sounds like he does not know what he truly wants, and the longer you hang around and wait, the more pain you are in. I know it is not easy to move away from him emotionally, but that is the safest thing for you emotionally until he decides what he truly wants...if he ever does.

Time to care for yourself and be open to meeting others. I know it is hard and i feel for how you feel for him, but this kind of back and forth rarely ends well.

You deserve to be with someone who is fully present in every aspect.
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 1 year ago.
Sorry to see you rated my service as poor. Is there any way that I may help or support your further? What about my response was not satisfactory for you?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I thank you for the reply, but is isn't the help I guess I needed. I wanted to try just answer out one time but I would like to no longer receive emails please.


Thank you for your understanding

Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 1 year ago.
Wish you the best. If i dont reply the question remains open for me. Do not respond back to this one and all will be good.
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 1 year ago.
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Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown
Professor on Writing Sabbatical
375 Satisfied Customers
Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples