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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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About two years ago I told my best friend, who is a beautiful

Customer Question

About two years ago I told my best friend, who is a beautiful girl, that I loved her. She's the only woman I've ever said that to. She said then and on numerous occasions since that she loves me too but for various reasons won't date me. I know there was a time at least when she wanted to date me. I can't wish my feelings for her away and short of buying an engagement ring I can't think of anything I could do or say to prove to her that I'm worth taking a chance with. Do you have any advice that might help me either win her affections or help me forget my feelings for her and move on?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

You have given her every opportunity to go with you. She is your friend and is very fond of you but she is not in love with you and she will not accept this kind of relationship.

It is not a matter of you proving yourself to her. You have her deep friendship, but she does not want a different type of relationship any more.

Buying her an engagement ring may put pressure on her, but she likes your current relationship just as it is.

You have to change your thinking or leave this relationships because it will not satisfy you

Let me recommend a wonderful book for you that will help you enormously.

Thoughts and Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods and Your Life by Matthew McKay, Martha Davis and Patrick Fanning (Nov 9 2011)

You will get over her or learn to reassess your relationship. She is a good friend and if you can bear to change your thinking you might keep her as a friend.

You must, however, learn to change your thinking. Folowing the guidelines of this wonderful manual will help you enormously.

If I can be of further assistance, don't hesistate to get back to me.

Warm regards

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

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