How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Coach Jen K. Your Own Question

Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1814
Experience:  Providing the Utmost Care and Support
64783947
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Coach Jen K. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have been online dating for a while about 6 months. I do

Resolved Question:

I have been online dating for a while about 6 months. I do want a long, lasting relationship one day . My problem is I guess my hormones are starting to talk to me. Would It be wrong for me to be intimate with more than one man while I am dating. I have not had sex since January of this year. I was even considering allowing my ex-bf to become intimate with me. not sure if he wants more or not. For now I just need sex, but I am sure if I go there with more than one guy my views may change. Any thoughts? this I guess will allow me to keep my options open also without becoming more attached to one than the other.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 1 year ago.

CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

CoachJenK :

You sound like a responsible adult who is having normal human desires....so what's wrong with that? Not much that I can see.

CoachJenK :

as yo

CoachJenK :

as long as you practice safe sex and can handle the experiences without emotional difficulties then why not?

Customer:

ok..do I keep this information from them?

Customer:

we all met online so they may be dating others as well

CoachJenK :

great question....I am always an advocate for open communication so I would always opt for that. If you are not exclusive with them then being open about dating others and intimacy with others is the way to go.

CoachJenK :

if either of you want more then you can discuss that if and when it feels right.

CoachJenK :

but yes in the dating world without being exclusive it is possible that all are dating others and possibly being intimate with others as well.

CoachJenK :

but again I always vote for openness and safe sex

Customer:

I know my ex at one time said he wants more..but not sure if his views have change some..I told him to use condom if we did have sex and he told you know you can trust me.

Customer:

like I said, I have not be intimate yet

CoachJenK :

be open with him about what you want but I would practice safe sex......never without a condom being used. Its not about trust so much as it is about your health

Customer:

I also told him I have not been on birth control in a while..I will tell him again

CoachJenK :

its more than the birth control...its also about protecting yourself from disease.

CoachJenK :

both are crucial

Customer:

true

CoachJenK :

so the botXXXXX XXXXXne is this...be free and have fun with intimacy if yuo desire, be open about it but practice safe sex keeping yuor health in mind always

CoachJenK :

sorry for the typos above

Customer:

my 2 year old will be away for 2 weeks soon by her grandparents..so can I be intimate with more than one guy while eventually looking for a long term relationship is that possible?

CoachJenK :

possible in what sense...your desire? If that is what you desire while being safe then what is keeping you from that?

Customer:

yes..my desire..I guess I am just wondering do I have stop the intimacy after one or two times so it want interfere with looking for a true love

Customer:

I want to get married that's my desire

CoachJenK :

I dont think so....when you are ready to find true love it will be there and then your desire for intimacy with others wont be strong as you will only want it with that one person. But since you havent found it yet then I dont think your desires need to be put on the back burner

CoachJenK :

And when you meet the right one you will know but if you havent found them yet then be free and enjoy your life

Customer:

ok..I was told by my best friend she only has sex once or twice than drops them because she is not looking. I guess I just don't want to miss out an finding the right one..if he is not the one I am intimate with how will I know?

Customer:

sometimes lust blinds your vision

CoachJenK :

because you will only want to be with him...lust and love feel differently....it becomes about wanting to spend time with that person in all ways and not just for a fun romp.

Customer:

ok..sorry all of that. I have never done this before. I have dated more than one but sex with possibly more than one

Customer:

not sex with

CoachJenK :

no sorries.

CoachJenK :

I am glad you reached out.

Customer:

I always kind of pull back when a guy wants to kiss me cause I don't want to be influenced until I know but this might help me out and on deciding as well.

CoachJenK :

yes intimacy is a part of any relationship. even if it is just a dating one

Customer:

ok..thanks..

Customer:

will keep in touch if I need more advice

CoachJenK :

please do. you can request me again. I am here to support you. I appreciate you taking a moment to offer a rating of my support. I wish you the best and have fun and be safe

Customer:

also, would it be best if they come my place or should it be done else where. not some of them know where I stay because I have a 2 year old and want to still make sure I know them better.

CoachJenK :

its all about safety and I am not suggesting random sex, but rather if you are dating someone and enjoy them and want to become intimate then do so. Protecting yuor child as well is key.

Customer:

she will be gone but still don't want anyone following me around once she comes back home

Customer:

ok.

Coach Jen K., LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1814
Experience: Providing the Utmost Care and Support
Coach Jen K. and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K.
Social Worker, Professional Coach
927 Satisfied Customers
Providing the Utmost Care and Support