Everthing is so hard right now. It i s hard to notthink about the good times. Also i am upset that he does not seem to be in as much pain as i am. I dont understand how someone can just up and leave their life. He blamed me for the break up, nd i keep wondering what i could have done better. It is hard to adjust being alone in the house. A month ago everything seemed ok, and now hes gone. It is just shocking to me.