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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I met my ex, about 7years ago and I was 17. We were together

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I met my ex, about 7years ago and I was 17. We were together up until two years.it is a long story it. My thing is we been living together for 2 years. I guess am afriad to move out. I went through alot of pain and stress with him and I feel as thoug ii cant take anymore. In the beginning, I thought us still living together, we can fix and work things out but none of that is happening. So, I kept on. He treats me like a girlfriend. but other time its like i am a roommate he doesnt like.. he always texting but i cant touch his phone, even though I pay for it, ask so many people but noone has seen this before. He is hurting me and doesn't seem bothered that we live together. If I ask him about getthing back together, hesays we will see or no answer at all. We are intimte as well. He was my first and only. After 2 years I am over this relationship. At this point , I dont care if we makeup ornot. I just want a resolution already. We spend time together but are mostly in diffrent rooms. Our points of intimacy are now far apart. Month or so apart. He watches the kids so hedoesnt work. He said he needed a vaction badly so thats is where he is now and i went my parents back home. We do have two children together and I think that alone makes it really hard. We make good friends but not good partners. Iguess I been waitingfor him to break it.I was in denial for a long time but he is a manipulative man and I aam afriad to make that decision. He alredy uses thekids agisint me. Imagine what that will be like whenwe are completely separated. What do I do? Why does he stay?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help you.

This man seems as if he is a narcissist who uses you only to control you. He seems to have no regards XXXXX XXXXX feelings, and is probably not capable of feeling empathy for anybody.

He stays with you because he uses you financially and emotionally and he has you frightened to leave him.

The best thing for you to do is to find somewhere else to go and leave him and don't look back.

If he doesn't let you touch his phone it is because he is hiding information on it and may very well have other women that he is seeing. That is why men hide their phones or don't allow access to them.

If there is any chance of child custody issues then you should consult an attorney to make sure what your rights are.

This relationship has failed and you need to find the best way out.

I wish you wisdom and courage and will keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

He has you emotionally imprisoned, fearing that being apart from him may be worse than being with you.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Is there a way to leave without chaos? Or is there any way this relationship can survive?

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Kynise,

Let me recommend a book for you, for it will take a book to show you how to leave with as little chaos as possible and to avoid all of the traps that he will be setting for you.

You know he is a manipulator, but you also know that you cannot thrive in this situation.

The relationship will only survive in its present, unacceptable form, full of pain and hardships. He will not give you the equality and support that you need. I don't think you want to continue this way, but I am afraid he will never change.

Here is the book I have in mind:

Product Details

Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy LCSW JD and Randi Kreger

 

This book is wonderful and Randi Kreger is a woman who understands better than anyone about how to deal with a situation such as yours.

 

I wish you strength and God's blessings.

 

Warm regards,

 

Elliott

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
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35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.