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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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my partner and i have been living together for two years now

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my partner and i have been living together for two years now he is an electrician by trade and works out of town for 20 days at a time and is generally home for 6 to 8 days before going back to work. there was about a half a year when he was out of work and i was supporting us i really did not mind doing so but he seems to still have problems that it happened. since he started working away from home i have been getting the feeling that we are drifting apart and i am unsure of how to approach him in that regard... i am not sure if it matters but we are two men in a relationship
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help.

You are correct. Gender is not the issue. This is about two souls who have loved each other and are trying to stay together.

Long distance relationships are difficult, and he is gone 3/4 of the time.

You have not mentioned if there is the possibility that he is cheating on you, if you have a committed relationship. Even if he is not, you may still have the feeling that he abandons you because of his necessary lifestyle.

The best way to approach him is to talk honestly in a caring manner. Tell him that you know that you no longer feel the closeness that you had, as if some barrier has come between you. Ask him if he feels it too. Tell him that you hate that this feeling is there because you want to feel and close and committed to him.

Don't blame anyone. It is possible that he is suffering from depression, which would cause him to act this way - lose some interest and connection and enthusiasm, but not because of you but because of other factors that he may not even be able to put his finger on.

Honest communication is always the best way to get started. Perhaps these unspoken feelings will respond to words and crystallize in each other's mind. Once any issues or feelings are out in the open, then you may be able to begin to work them out.

Find the courage to gently bring up the subject at a time when you are face to face and don't have anything else to do. Do it when you are both relaxed and in a good mood, and do your best to stay calm. You seem to be a steady person who will not act rashly.

Try this and see what happens.

I wish you wisdom and the courage to proceed gently but firmly.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
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