We've talked about the financials, and I fully support her going to school. We've been together over 2 years, we've lived together for 1. Her family, including her father, really pushed her to move back home to do this. They hate that she has been living in Wisconsin.
When we were together, she thought I would be proposing much sooner, as I definitely led her to believe that. And I never acted. She said part of her leaving was she didn't know where our relationship was going. She's also told me in the past, several times, that the ring doesn't matter, I could give her a piece of gravel and she would say yes to a proposal.
Hello? Are you still there?
I mean they wanted her to leave me and move back home to go to school. We both want to work things out, get married, start a family. But she also really wants her fathers blessing.
It is tempting to tell you what to do, but that is not within the scope of my ethical responsibilities. I am however, interested in hearing how you resolved your issue. My hope is that you marry if you both truly love one another. I recall counseling a young couple to do just that in the face of their entire family being against it. They have now been married for 5 years and have two beautiful children. Needless to say, the grandparents are now also happy. Not to say this will occur in your case. Sooner or later we must do what we must do without our parents approval; then, we are grown up.
I understand the ethics, bit I'm not looking to be told what to do. I'm simply looking for the perspective of someone with the ability to put themselves in my shoes and tell me what they would do. I may very well not even heed the advice, I'm more looking for someone else's take.
And that perspective would be...
Thanks for the interest. We talked a lot and worked out a lot of issues. We even had a joint counseling session. I proposed to her and she said yes. She's going to finish out her 3 month commitment to her program, in hopes of securing a letter of recommendation and possibly publishing a paper in pursuit of her PHD. So she will be moving here for good in October.
We have not told either of her parents yet, as they are both clearly not on board. Our plan is to wait a bit, visit each other a few times, and hopefully let her family see the improvement in our relationship before telling them of our engagement and her plan to move back. Our hope is that in time, they will see we have thought this out, are doing the work, and eventually they will accept this. Time will tell how they feel, but at least we know we will be happy together, with or without their blessing. Thanks again.
Thank you for the words, and the support. It's definitely reassuring to hear from someone outside looking in who thinks we handled this the right way.