yes I do think he runs to BB for solace. I Just want to make sure you know my son never sees the barking.( I do that when he is not around). He only sees the gentle nodges the smiles and thank yous. Despite all I do have respect for my ex because I understand his amy background. But I cant let myself be walked over. My ex is easy lead, at times I feel sorry for him. If I had to shout at him in front of my son to get him to do something it dosnt acheive anything.
But by talking to u I can see where bb comes in. I do get so frustrated with both of them. At the start of the break down both of them sailed in to take over, as if they were heading to control the war. I had to be very stong to push it back and I did so . Now my head is clear I can see that my ex wants me to guide him re kids, and I will. Also by talking to you I realise that I am not silly for just wanting the best re kids, despite bb. Now I realise why she is behaving the way she does,
. I know my ex loves his kids and she can only cope if he has no contact with us. Thats her problem, not mine. My kids need their Dad and if I can help all of them I will. I know my exs past and all I can say, is when I slept in my bed, he lay in damp, cold scary places. What I do feel sad about, is that he got mixed up re love and sex. Love is what I am now doing for him and kids, I feel he gets army and sex from her. At present I need to do what I have to do re kids. Thanks V
Yes he was better off and i can see in him he knows that. Re me, I am actually happier now, I couldnt cope anymore re his controlling nature. I can feel in myself the true person I am. I feel I can breath again. Re kids, so far so good. Re the furture that will be gods will. But for now I know my job is to lead. Not only my kids in showing them that you live on despite trials but to lead my ex, who I know in my heart feels very unhappy. At times I feel I have three kids , my ex ,my daughter and my son. If in the long run if I can leave this earth knowing I made it better for all three, thats not a bad thing. In this world where everyone tells me to move on, get another man!!!! its good talk to someone that realises that its not that simple . Good nite V