She is in a rebound relationship, and with her family background she is overly dependent on whomever she has as a boyfriend. At her present age (20) she'll probably have periodic pendulum swings towards needing independence, but she's never experienced living without dependence on an "adoptive family," so the'll be very confusedly combining both ways of living at the same time.
She needs family security SO much that what she calls "love" will always combine brother/mother love with romantic love at this stage of her life. How is her relationship with YOUR mother? For the comparison between Your mother/her and the other guy's mother/her might have as much holding-security-power as your years of romantic history.
She loves my mom alot. she said her new boyfriend s mom works 2 jobs so she isnt around much. you think she will try to comeback to me with time? she keeps saying she is confused with where her life is going and on if she wants to be with me or that guy. should I keep my distance for now?
I'm thinking that she NEEDS to experience some independence, and yet she also NEEDS to feel secure in a family. So the other guy may feel like growing up, because you feel like "brother" & "mom." So I don't think she's going to get unconfused any time in the near future. I understand what it feels like to be on the brink of losing your long-term girlfriend, and I feel empathy for you.
I don't know how she will be able to decide what to do, when her love for you is deeper and more durable than her new excitement for him, but her excitement for having a new life is hard to measure at all.
I'd first accept that you can't count on one or two "right" ways to deal with this situation that would be most likely to get her to come back to you. But she will always want to be close to you, even if marriage is not what she ends up wanting to do. You are family to her. So if you let her know that you will always be there to support her and you want the best for her, you will be sticking to what is MOST TRUE about about your retionship, whether both of you continue to define it as romantic love or not. But by telling her you will always love her and that you don't have to be her one and only to love her, you will be agreeing with what she actually feels already: that she never wants to lose you, even though she doesn't know whether she wants you for her one and only or the other guy. For the fact is, she is NOT READY to have anybody as her one and only man to have and to hold until death do you part. Because she's never been on her own and able to make a free choice. And neither have you.