How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Paige Your Own Question

Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr. Paige is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hi, I truly hope you can give me advice and assist me on

This answer was rated:


I truly hope you can give me advice and assist me on either finding closure or on what I should do!

I started seing this girl some seven months ago and things really went well. Before we started dating I asked her if she was ready for a realtionship, to which she answer "yes".

As our relationship progressed she started saying things like "I was the perfect guy and that if there was anyone she would get married to it would be me, as well as any woman would be so lucky to have me as her partner etc". These affirmations made me really believe that I had found my one true love and that this was the sure thing, slowly I fell more and more in love with her.

Then things slowly started changing, she started saying things like she is frustrated with herself because she cannot give me what she wants to give me, because of her past relationships as they where quite intense and abusive, not only in a physical and mental nature but on the sexual side. As to the exact extent I do not know as this was not discussed in depth, because I didn't want to unduelly cause her pain to re live her past in questioning etc.

I tried to be supportive of her and suggested that she go and seek assistance to get over her issues, if she was uncomfortable talking to me about them which she duely did. about 5 days after her first session I got the imfimass " I cannot carry on like this, can't we just be friends" line. She often would also say that I am going to leave her.......

I really love her and we have now been sepporated for two is it possible to just walk away so quickly from someone you supposedly love?

We still have contact, but it is very one sided and she never really hangs around long enough to actually talk. She just says that she is not ready for a relationship?

I guess my actual question here is do I move on? or do I wait it out at the risk of never having a second chance?
Hello. She is having some self esteem issues which stem from her previous relationships. You didn't say if she was continuing with counseling or not, but I would guess that she was advised to not enter into a relationship until she solved her own personal issues.
There is nothing wrong with not wanting to just be friends with her if you feel uncomfortable doing this. She is keeping you in limbo after the initial relationship was taking off. I would have a very blunt and honest conversation with her and tell her just about what you said here in your question. Explain to her your feelings about her and how hurt you are by her actions. Say that you don't feel you can be just friends with her and you need to know if she isn't willing to give the relationship a second chance, that you need to know so you can move on. Ask her if you should wait for her or not. Tell her that you support her and are more than willing to help her and wait this out because you have such deep feelings for her and that it would be very difficult for you to walk away and move on, but that you have to do it for your own stability if she wishes to throw this away.
In this situation, you are just going to have to be very up front with her in order to get the answers that you need to be able to make the choices that you need to make for your own future.
She may really want to be with you, but because of how she was treated in the past, she can't feel like she deserves someone who treats her well. She thinks that she should be treated badly because she isn't worth it. These problems are very common with women especially and unfortunately you cannot fix this for her, she is the only one who can work on her self worth.
So, decide what YOU want and take steps to find out if this is something she can work with you on. Don't feel guilty for having your own emotional needs. Be supportive and be honest with her.
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience: Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
Dr. Paige and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Kate McCoy

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist


    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Ms Chase's Avatar

    Ms Chase

    Life Coach

    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
  • Alicia_MSW's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • Suzanne's Avatar


    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

Related Relationship Questions